Life as I Know It; Family; Lifestyle; and Healthy Living!
According to Esquire Magazine [as reported on MSN's Lifestyles], there are some things a man should never do ever again when he passes the age of 30. I don't know about you men out there, but some of these things are OK with me if a man who is 30 are more wants to do it. I mean what is the point in living and not having fun eh?!

It might be taboo to the "PC" people out there and of course to Esquire Magazine, but I say heck do it if you feel like it! Some of these are funny though! I guess it just depends on the individual what he wants to do, right men?


[Quote]
1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack. [I need enligtening on this termonology]

5. Name his penis his name plus junior. [ this one I totally agree with! Hmm..., let your wife or girl name it instead!LOL]

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?" [this one is lame!]

10. Skip. [Enough said - oh boy!]

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?" [even at a concert?]

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

[End Quote]

Also, "Find these and many more immature taboos in Esquire's Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30 (Hearst Books, $10), available now. Buy it, use it, give it to a hopeless friend."

Comments (Page 1)
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on Apr 18, 2006

Sorry, Cartoon ties and Home Brewing are not going away in my life!

And Hackey Sack is that little bag of beans that soccer players use to practice dribbling a soccer ball (when dribbling a soccer ball is not practical).

on Apr 18, 2006
No disney ties? How about Looney Tunes? That's a lame one... gotta have fun with ties.

Hugging amusement park characters? Oreo Cookies in stages? Sprinkles? These guys are taking themselves WAY too seriously! It's sad that so many people equate maturity with not having fun. If being an adult means I have to be serious and such all the time, then it's not worth it. You spend waaay too much of your life being an "adult" to not have as much fun as possible (and as is reasonable/legal)
on Apr 18, 2006
I still break 27 and 48 and will continue to do so till I hit 70. ha! one thing about getting older is I ain't gotta listen to no rules.
on Apr 18, 2006
I don't get 45. Can someone explain?
on Apr 18, 2006
Doc:
Sorry, Cartoon ties and Home Brewing are not going away in my life!


Zoomba:
No disney ties? How about Looney Tunes? That's a lame one... gotta have fun with ties.



I totally agree with you both. This shows a guy has a sense of humor!



And Hackey Sack is that little bag of beans that soccer players use to practice dribbling a soccer ball (when dribbling a soccer ball is not practical).


Ya know, I didn't realised that's what that is called! I know what that is because I too used to play with them as a child in Jamaica - I love soccer! [infact I was playing soccer yesterday with my 4 year old!]


Hugging amusement park characters? Oreo Cookies in stages? Sprinkles? These guys are taking themselves WAY too seriously! It's sad that so many people equate maturity with not having fun. If being an adult means I have to be serious and such all the time, then it's not worth it. You spend waaay too much of your life being an "adult" to not have as much fun as possible (and as is reasonable/legal)


I agree with you on this Zoomba! Much, much too serious to not have any fun at all!


I still break 27 and 48 and will continue to do so till I hit 70.


Good for you Elie!


ha! one thing about getting older is I ain't gotta listen to no rules.


I hear ya!
on Apr 18, 2006
" I don't get 45. Can someone explain?"

I didn't get that either.

Anyways, a lot of these struck me as rather insightful; it names a number of behaviors that make me laugh at people who do them. Especially having a wallet with velcro. I like that.

Thank God I have another decade.

Dan
on Apr 18, 2006
don't get 45. Can someone explain?


I should have mentioned that I'm clueless about this too. I just figured it has something to do with either Baseball or golf? We need enlightenning men?
on Apr 18, 2006
Especially having a wallet with velcro. I like that.


I think this one is funny too. Especially since I see so many men out there over 30 with these!! {naw, not my hubby - although he did until a few years ago!}
on Apr 18, 2006

Hugging amusement park characters?

Forget the rest of them that you mentioned Zoomba, but when I took my oldest son to Kings Dominion about 4 years ago (I was well past 30), I had a ball bantering with the Stuffed characters and getting my picture taken with them!  I was too old to care (my son was 16 and mortified).

I forgot that one.  Yea, strike that one as well.

on Apr 18, 2006
Forget the rest of them that you mentioned Zoomba, but when I took my oldest son to Kings Dominion about 4 years ago (I was well past 30), I had a ball bantering with the Stuffed characters and getting my picture taken with them! I was too old to care (my son was 16 and mortified).I forgot that one. Yea, strike that one as well.


! Oh your poor son!
on Apr 18, 2006

" I don't get 45. Can someone explain?"

I didn't get that either.

Blackjack.  When the dealer is showing a 6 (always assume a 10 as the hole card, and dealer must hit on 16, stand on 17), and you have a 6, your odds of busting are 50/50, while the dealer has a greater chance of busting.  That one is one of the few wisdom ones.

And yes, I use to deal blackjack professionally.

on Apr 18, 2006
when did 28 become a crime?

thank goodness I'm only 22 and have some years left to enjoy all of this low-minded fun . . .

And 54?!?!?!?!? What's wrong with the Fountainhead?
on Apr 18, 2006
Esquire forgot one item:

#60. Never let any magazine attempt to define adult masculinity for you.

Sounds like this magazine wants all men to be old stuffy, inflexible prigs.

BTW, my variation on #5: I named mine Napoleon because he is short, insane and wants to rule the world.
on Apr 18, 2006

I have to HIGHLY disagree with a number of these, most notably home brewing, the disney tie, the John Travolta move (noone UNDER 30 should do it...they never saw the steenking movie in the theater, for crying out loud!)...but especially #28...you are NEVER too old to eat Oreo's in stages.

The reply above said it best....

on Apr 18, 2006
Oh yeh in the privacy of home and sometimes even in public, I can still play a mean air guitar!

Mine has been called Hermann the Headhunter for over 40 years.
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