Remember, marriage is supposed to be forever. In the past, some of our parents and grand parents managed to make it through all the roadblocks, and somehow, against the odds, made things work out so that both people were satisfide.

The thinking that marriage has to last forever is not made in stone. That's actually what we have come to expect from it. What we have learn to accept as fact from what we see of our parents and grandparents marriage. It becomes that idealistic dream that we all have. However, when the bubble have burst and we're back on 'earth' so to speak, we realise its not all a bed of roses, you have to work hard at it, just like everything else. YOu have to learn to love that person all over again because he or she is no longer THE person you thought they were for whatever reason.

That's why some people's relationship don't last, when the lust is gone and the rose-colored glasses have cleared up, they get scared and either they're going to run for the hills or they're going to stand and work at their relationship and their marriage and remember why they loved that person in the first place.

However, and let me state before it 'rains' protest, that is not the same for everyone. Some people are very fortunate to not have this problem from day one. Some people are lucky enough to really have found THE one and not have a problem at all and that's wonderful, they are one of the lucky few.

And for some, the bubble bursts a couple of years into the marriage. It just depends on the person, the individuals involved and what's going on in their lives.

The world is far more complex and it's hard for people to commit to anything forever, let alone a lifetime relationship. Sometimes, no matter how hard you work at something, it's just not going to work. Look at what it takes for people to live together; it's a lot! Sometimes people simply grow apart.

This is true and I agree with you.

[I'm going to post this now because my computer is acting up and I might lose what I just wrote!]

I don't see why not.

I mean, I'd like to be the one to propose, but, if my gf does, then i'm not going to become all macho or something. I mean, either way, we'll be together.

Anywho, i don't think i made sense.

~L

I can tell you this, because this is how my 14 year marriage ended. Not in some cheating BS, but simply 2 people who were married at 17 and 18 whos lives had changed. You cant expect anything to last forever. Nothing stays the same...ever. The world by its very nature is dynamic.

Sorry to hear that Xythe. Cheating is unfortunately the reason why some people's marriages fail though. However that's true that people change and they grow apart.

I'm glad I can say that my marriage is alive and well after, gosh, more than twenty years of being together. It hasn't been an easy road, there's been so many obstacles along the way. And sometimes there still are. But fundamentally we love and respect each other, we give each other space to have our own interests and we are not afraid to have heated open discussion when one is annoyed or upset with the other. What works for us might not work for others so , as I said before each person is different. There have been times when I can't tell you we were both at crossroads, that's normal for most couples. We're not perfect, our marriage isn't perfect but it works.

However in my "old age"

It seems I might have jumped the gun on that "I'm older than you" comment uh?!!

...you're funny without even trying Xythe!. I've been there and back a few times with friends and their relationships. I'm a lot older than you so I have some experience and know what I"m talking about. I believe you.

Hahaha, yeah, sure you do!!

Or the man can feel pressure

Yes I'm aware of the other side too. However, I have to look at this from the point of view of a woman. Majority of times, the woman is the one who gets hurt in a relationship. This doens't mean the guy doesn't get hurt, he does too, but women come out of a relationship many times because of the guys lack of commitment or sometimes he has too many! [yeah, cheating again!]

So if the girl asks a guy to marry her does the guy still have to buy her a diamond ring? Or does she buy one her self. Or maybe she gives the guy a diamond ring, now that would be a switch.

I think that's only fair game right there! Why not?!

and if he says no then she can choose to stay in the relationship, she can choose to set a time limit on how long she's willing to wait, or she could choose to cut her losses ( if she's been involved a long time) and start anew....

My point exactly Trudy!

Men scratch their nuts, and women chatter idley about this and that, but beyond that, the world has made us all into complete individuals.

LoL! OK, I'm gonna leave that one alone!! [can't get that visual out of my head!]haha

Or the man can feel pressure and end the relationship

Of course! It's a free world!

Nothing wrong with the woman popping the question. Nothing wrong with the guy saying no either

Very true M! Nothing wrong with that at all!

I'd like to be the one to propose, but, if my gf does, then i'm not going to become all macho or something. I mean, either way, we'll be together.

This is the point, you will be together!