A handshake is very important!  And, sadly, it seems to be a dying art.  It's always been my habit to shake hands when I meet someone new, even in a social setting.  It's a greeting and a sign of recognition and respect.  The amazing thing is how many people (even sometimes in business situations) give me a strange look and are confused when I extend my hand in greeting.

I've done some interviewing for previous employers, and whenever a student (or recent student) would come in, the handshakes were almost universally terrible.  Limp hands, or the dreaded half-shake some women do (turn your hand flat, cup your fingers down a little.... like you expect someone to take the hand and kiss your ring or something).  To me, it says something about the person... and not always a very complimentary thing.

A firm handshake says "confidence" to me.  The limp, dead ones scream insecurity and fear. 

A "gay handshake" though?  Unless the guy ran his fingers along the other guy's wrist during the shake... I'm not sure I've ever heard of such a thing.

I've done some interviewing for previous employers, and whenever a student (or recent student) would come in, the handshakes were almost universally terrible. Limp hands, or the dreaded half-shake some women do (turn your hand flat, cup your fingers down a little.... like you expect someone to take the hand and kiss your ring or something). To me, it says something about the person... and not always a very complimentary thing.

Agreed on the terrible handshakes! The thing is, those women were so put together and looked so pefect, and boy did they smell good, and to give me a limp handshake was shocking and violating!! I expected a nice handshake, maybe not as firm. These are business women, I'm glad they are in the field they are in, more power to them but if that's the way they greet people they just met, OMG!! Doesn't say much for them!! That's another reason for the outburst of my students, we were all impressed with how nice they look and couldn't believe they didn't know how to shake hands!

A "gay handshake" though? Unless the guy ran his fingers along the other guy's wrist during the shake... I'm not sure I've ever heard of such a thing.

Ya know, I'm still in shock over that one and want to know too!

I wonder if the people who give limp handshakes think about it as much afterward as this. My guess is not, or they'd have realized long ago that they weren't doing something right.

Do they spend the rest of their day wondering at that firm handshake they'd received earlier, and whether their shake is any good?

I know when I receive a limp handshake it sticks with me for days, and I'm reminded of it whenever I speak to that person, be it by phone, e-mail, or in person.

You know that feeling you get when you're driving a route you've been on many times, and kind of zone out for a while? Suddenly you're at your destination, but don't remember the travel. I get that sometimes if I'm distracted when I meet people. The first thought that comes to my mind when I snap back into it isn't trying to remember the person's name. It's whether I gave a good handshake or was one of those wet fish people when I wasn't paying attention!

What a good, firm handshake says is, "I'm greeting you, my attention is on you, and I'm not just trying to get through this meeting so I can get on with something really important."

A handshake that is weak, or too strong says just the opposite.

I'm not sure where I started this, but when I shake hands with people on a social level, I do what I call "the warrior handshake"... you know, where you clasp wrists instead of hands. It has become kind of a trademark move for me over the years. I do have a few friends who don't like it, so I do respect their wishes... but people usually have fun with it. In fact, some of my friends would probably think I was mad about something if I just "shook hands". :~D

As far as a "gay handshake"... well, there was one, but it was an inside joke.

The "gay handshake" is where instead of clasping hands, the two guys (or two girls) tickle each others' palms. ;~D

I wonder if the people who give limp handshakes think about it as much afterward as this. My guess is not, or they'd have realized long ago that they weren't doing something right.

I don't even think it bothered those ladies because it is what they do, seemingly, all the time. First impressions and all that!

The first thought that comes to my mind when I snap back into it isn't trying to remember the person's name. It's whether I gave a good handshake or was one of those wet fish people when I wasn't paying attention!

See, I agree. It is what I would think about too! Just like their hand shake stayed with me and it happened a month ago!

A handshake that is weak, or too strong says just the opposite.

Yes, there's the too storng one as well!

As far as a "gay handshake"... well, there was one, but it was an inside joke.The "gay handshake" is where instead of clasping hands, the two guys (or two girls) tickle each others' palms. ;~D

Aha! Now that you mentioned that, I have heard about it!lol!

I used to give a firm handshake,   with a smile.   Now,  with RA,   ( I'm right-handed)  I offer my left hand and they only get a couple of fingers barely touching their hand!

Some people,   sadly even doctors,   shake hands too hard and it's very painful if you have RA. 

Most understand without my saying anything in the way of explanation,  if they're upset I figure they'll cope or not.

I always give a firm handshake grip without squeezing, looking people in eyes as I greet them. I think it's the most important is what is one the person's face -- are they smiling or looking at you. Some people seem ever eager to leave, looking elsewhere within that few milliseconds of a shake. It gives me the impression of being insincere or as if they being forced to shake hands.

Women tend not to give very firm handshakes, in some cases they do give limp fishes. I think in some of these women, they might have been taught that women aren't suppose to shake hands too firmly. So they become overly gentle in this aspect. I tend to judge them by their facial expression and greeting voice.

Men however, should have a firm handshake otherwise it's just very strange. If a man gives a limp fish, you start to wonder if he's sick or something.

Some people, sadly even doctors, shake hands too hard and it's very painful if you have RA.

Yes, some people are overly hard with their handshakes as I said before! For someone with joint problems that would be very difficult to take!

Most understand without my saying anything in the way of explanation, if they're upset I figure they'll cope or not.

Unless you're wearing braces or something on your arm and I met you, I would never know without an explanation Trudy. A brief explanation is good.

Women tend not to give very firm handshakes, in some cases they do give limp fishes. I think in some of these women, they might have been taught that women aren't suppose to shake hands too firmly. So they become overly gentle in this aspect.

Hmm, interesting point. Although in doing business, it would seem to be more acceptable to be more firm, heck to actually give one!! I got the fingertipped version!

always give a firm handshake grip without squeezing, looking people in eyes as I greet them

I hate the squeezing part, and some guys like to slide their other hand up your arm, ugh! A bit too friendly there!!

I am firm, but not crushing and at the same time, as Raven said, I look then straight in the eye and repeat their name (if they're being introduced to me). Limp fish handshakes don't bother me, but I do wonder why some people even bother. The handshake that annoys me more is the one were the person holds their hand out like it is going to be kissed. I usually grab the hand, turn it fortyfive degrees and give it a good shake.

Interesting fact - if you give a firm handshake in Indonesia you're either a criminal or an unsophisticated rural bogan. Everyone has a limp handshake over there. I got to the point where I wouldn't shake hands with anyone, it was too cringe-worthy.

I'm the latter. Anyway, nothin' worst than the old "limp fish."   

The "gay handshake" is where instead of clasping hands, the two guys (or two girls) tickle each others' palms. ;~D

There’s the accidental gay handshake that happens when one of you is not paying attention, and comes up short to only grasped four fingers. The only way to recover is to immediately say, “lets try that again” and break out the full court bro or warrior handshake. If you let it slide you’ll never recover from the weirdness of that moment.

The handshake that annoys me more is the one were the person holds their hand out like it is going to be kissed. I usually grab the hand, turn it fortyfive degrees and give it a good shake.

I would love to be there when you do that to someone!! Are they usually surprise with a comical look on their face?!

Interesting fact - if you give a firm handshake in Indonesia you're either a criminal or an unsophisticated rural bogan. Everyone has a limp handshake over there. I got to the point where I wouldn't shake hands with anyone, it was too cringe-worthy.

! I"m sorry, I find that amusing and amazing at the same time. I guess I never thought of how you shake hands being a cultural thing! I thought it would have been something like a 'universal language' thing!

I'm the latter. Anyway, nothin' worst than the old "limp fish."

What was even worse was how cold and damp the hands were! OMG! That's why I used the term 'violated'! Like a wet kiss from someone you wouldn't want it from!

There’s the accidental gay handshake that happens when one of you is not paying attention, and comes up short to only grasped four fingers. The only way to recover is to immediately say, “lets try that again” and break out the full court bro or warrior handshake. If you let it slide you’ll never recover from the weirdness of that moment.

LORL!! No way, really?! I can just imagine, the visual on this one is going off in my brain!!

The handshake that annoys me more is the one were the person holds their hand out like it is going to be kissed. I usually grab the hand, turn it fortyfive degrees and give it a good shake.

I'm one that does that thing with holding out my hand,  sometimes anyway,  simply out of fear of having my hand crushed!  If you had or develop arthritis,  especially the RA form,  then you'd probably not do that thing with grabbing another's hand.

I hate shaking hands. It's always so weird for me! I guess I need to learn how to shake hands properly.

I'm not a very touchy person unless I know someone well anyways.

I agree that the limp, weak handshake is gross, though, and you described it so well, Donna. The violated thing cracked me up!

This was a really entertaining article...both the OP and the comments from everyone that followed.