18 Things a Grown Man Should NEVER Have

Published on May 19, 2008 By foreverserenity In Blogging

Two years ago I found an interesting article citing 59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30, http://wellness-serenity.joeuser.com/article/113612/59_Things_A_Man_Should_Never_Do_Past_30 !

I've found another list, this time it is 18 things a grown man should never have! The article was written by Steve Calechman, Men's Health on msn.com.

What are the 18 things a grown man should never have you might be wondering? His words are in bold type or in quotes, mine are in italics.

1. A black eye. He said you guys are smart enough to know how to talk your way out of a fight, especially one you won't win!

2. A witty e-mail signature. Your electronic correspondence should not be "a digital version of a motivational poster! Leave for toasts and Karaoke!

3. An empty refrigerator. You should always be prepared to "create a three-course meal or breakfast in bed for the girl of your dreams!

4. PlayStation thumb. This means you're "missing out on life"! He said it, I didn't!LOL!

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. Leave those college days behind! This proved that you didn't know how to apply "leverage" with those impromptu bottle openers - "the back end of a fork"!

6. A lucky shirt. You should know by now that the harder you work, the luckier you will be, a shirt is not it!

7. An unstamped passport. Time to travel guys!

8. Olympic dreams. Unless it's "Curling or Archery"!

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. You should always be able to buy coffee and bagels and the paper, without using plastic!

10. A name for his penis. Enough said on that one!

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. He's kidding right?

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad.

13. A futon. That means it is time to buy a 'real' bed!

14. Code words for ugly women. He says no code word at all!

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. This obviously doesn't belong in the living room!

16. A secret handshake. He's kidding, right? You MEN wouldn't have that at your age?

17. Drinking glasses with logos. Even those Star Wars collectibles? Time to let it go men!

18. A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop…" That means the days of getting in trouble are over for you men out there! Right?

To read his article and what his reasons on why you should not have any of the above, see this link! http://men.msn.com/articlemh.aspx?cp-documentid=6939112&GT1=32001

Comments (Page 1)

MasonM

on May 19, 2008

Any beer that costs less than $20 a case.

Bullshit, he's a beer snob.

Less than $20 in his wallet.

I guess he's never been broke the day before payday. Not everyone makes 6 figures.

A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop…"

He has obviously never been a trucker

erathoniel

on May 19, 2008

Woot! I don't have any.

(Never played a PlayStation for more than 5 hours. Arguably, also, the futon ain't mine.)

foreverserenity

on May 19, 2008

[/quote]

Bullshit, he's a beer snob.

My thoughts exactly!lol

[quote]Less than $20 in his wallet. I guess he's never been broke the day before payday. Not everyone makes 6 figures.

I know what you mean!

Woot! I don't have any.

Good for you!

erathoniel

on May 19, 2008

Well, I guess I have less than $20 in my wallet occasionally, but only when I'm lounging and don't expect to spend any.

Gene Nash

on May 19, 2008

1. A black eye. He said you guys are smart enough to know how to talk your way out of a fight, especially one you won't win!

Just because you have a black eye, doesn't mean you didn't win.

2. A witty e-mail signature. Your electronic correspondence should not be "a digital version of a motivational poster! Leave for toasts and Karaoke!

What is the anti-witty bigotry? If it weren't for wit, I'd... um... damn I wish I had something witty to say here. What would the Big Lebowski say?

6. A lucky shirt. You should know by now that the harder you work, the luckier you will be, a shirt is not it!

I can think of a lot of pro athletes and other highly successful people who would disagree. Hard work does not equal luck. People toiling away in diamond mines in Africa probably work harder than all of us. Wanna ask them how lucky they are?

8. Olympic dreams. Unless it's "Curling or Archery"!

What's his definition of "grown man?" I bet there are far more 21+ Olympians than 17 year olds. (At this point my brain is checking out, because Steve Calechman is clearly an idiot.)

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. You should always be able to buy coffee and bagels and the paper, without using plastic!

A grown man should be able to buy coffee, bagels, and a paper for far less than $20!

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad.

Uh-oh.

13. A futon. That means it is time to buy a 'real' bed!

I consider it a more stylish pull-out couch. Just because there's a futon in the house, doesn't mean there aren't real beds too.

14. Code words for ugly women. He says no code word at all!

Yeah, be brave enough to tell the fuglies to fug off right to their face. No, sir, you're talking to her cottage cheese butt.

ParaTed2k

on May 19, 2008

1. A black eye. He said you guys are smart enough to know how to talk your way out of a fight, especially one you won't win!

What kind of wimp thinks a black eye means you lost the fight? ;~D

Cedarbird

on May 19, 2008

hahaha, nice list!

MasonM

on May 19, 2008

1. A black eye. He said you guys are smart enough to know how to talk your way out of a fight, especially one you won't win!

What kind of wimp thinks a black eye means you lost the fight? ;~D

Same kind that judges beer by price instead of taste

erathoniel

on May 19, 2008

Black eyes are overrated. Broken arms are cooler.

OckhamsRazor

on May 19, 2008

tsk, FS. This is stereotypical dramatic BS. I'm surprised at you!

RoyLevosh

on May 19, 2008

Well...I've never owned a futon or played on a playstation. But I did used to call the little fella "Russell the Love Muscle..."

dynamaso

on May 19, 2008

Great list. Of course, none of these are appropriate to me. But then again, I might by lying

Trudygolightly

on May 19, 2008

It sounds to me like "Steve Calechman" just gave us HIS list of things he's changed about himself!

BlueDev

on May 20, 2008

Gotta admit, pretty weak ass list there. As the author rails against witty email signatures and other items, he completely fails to be witty, despite obviously attempting.

The author is a bit of a loser if you ask me.

foreverserenity

on May 20, 2008

A grown man should be able to buy coffee, bagels, and a paper for far less than $20!

I can think of a lot of pro athletes and other highly successful people who would disagree. Hard work does not equal luck. People toiling away in diamond mines in Africa probably work harder than all of us. Wanna ask them how lucky they are?

I agree with you Gene! He definitely have this part wrong!

Yeah!

A black eye. He said you guys are smart enough to know how to talk your way out of a fight, especially one you won't win! What kind of wimp thinks a black eye means you lost the fight? ;~D

He obviously doesn't get around much Ted!LOL!

hahaha, nice list!

It is funny! The men don't seem to think so though!LOL! I would hate to see the writer left in a room with our JU men! Talk about black eyes!

Same kind that judges beer by price instead of taste

LOL! Definitely not my kind of guy! I love imported beer, but come on!

Black eyes are overrated. Broken arms are cooler.

Oh no! My son might differ with that one! He can speak from experience of a broken arm!

tsk, FS. This is stereotypical dramatic BS. I'm surprised at you

LOL! Ock, what was I thinking?! Obviously a lame-ass list! You guys are not wimps at all! And a case of beer for $20? Ptooey! Our JU men are so much more cooler! [yeah...kissing up... ]

Well...I've never owned a futon or played on a playstation. But I did used to call the little fella "Russell the Love Muscle..."

Oh Lordy Joe! LOL! I fell off my chair!

Great list. Of course, none of these are appropriate to me. But then again, I might by lying

Just as long as it's not like Joe's!LOL!

It sounds to me like "Steve Calechman" just gave us HIS list of things he's changed about himself!

LOL! Trudy, you could be right!LOL!

Gotta admit, pretty weak ass list there. As the author rails against witty email signatures and other items, he completely fails to be witty, despite obviously attempting. The author is a bit of a loser if you ask me.

Peter, maybe we should send him an email with a witty electronic signature? I do have one of those by the way!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!