Life as I Know It; Family; Lifestyle; and Healthy Living!
Published on September 22, 2006 By foreverserenity In Parenting

At this stage of having been a parent for let’s see, 21 one or more years, I didn’t think it would still be this difficult. I thought it was supposed to get easier the older they get?!

Apparently the books have it all wrong. The easy part is when they are babies, when they can’t talk back, when they look at you with goo goo eyes and worship the ground you walk on. When they eat everything you put in front of them without question, at least most of the times anyway! Ever had a one year old throw a plate of food they dislike on the floor? Yep, been there! At the time it wasn’t funny. But now looking back on some of the antics my first two have been up to, yep, hilarious!

When they get older, this is the time they need you even more. They need your guidance and your approval. I think it’s great when they seek your approval. That means they have respect for what you think and remember what you’ve taught them.

I love children, always have even before I had my own. They were always drawn to me and I them. That’s a good thing!

Oh but when you have your own children and they get older and have their own minds, which is good because that’s the way you want them to be. At least that shows they are normal! It’s when they don’t want to listen anymore. When it’s like pulling teeth to get them to see reason. That’s when it becomes harder and you sometimes wonder if there’s something wrong with you or your parenting skill or if you’re just getting too old and not that patient anymore. I don’t know. I just don’t want them to think of mom as grouchy and miserable.

In the midst of having fun, loving them and all the good things, one of us has to be the stern parent. Unfortunately that falls on me, and sometimes I hate it. I don’t think I chose that role; it just happened that way because of how I grew up. I was a middle child, and the oldest girl. My sense of responsibility is pretty strong. Somehow I’ve patterned the role my mom played with her family; it’s not an easy role. It’s not that my hubby doesn’t do his part; he does, some of the time. And to give him credit he’ll agree with me most of the time, and sometimes I’m the one bugging him to have some fun. However, there are times when I have to be the one that makes the rules and see that they are kept and that gets tiresome. Because if I don’t well, who knows.

So by the grace of God go I, in being a parent and hoping that what I'm doing, how I'm raising them, is the right thing.

Comments
on Sep 23, 2006
Far be it from me to give you parenting advice since I don't have kids, but from what I read, you do a great job being a mother. You sound like such an involved and caring parent.
I just hope that patience and perseverance are at your side when you do find yourself overwhelmed with it all.
on Sep 23, 2006
My dad is pushing 70 and he hasn't found the point where it gets easier. ;~D
on Sep 23, 2006
At this stage of having been a parent for let’s see, 21 one or more years, I didn’t think it would still be this difficult. I thought it was supposed to get easier the older they get?!


It never ever ends! You never actually stop being a parent, you love them too much - even as adults.
on Sep 23, 2006
I would say it gets easier (or at least they seem to listen more) when they become parents!  Then they realize how smart you are!
on Sep 23, 2006
Far be it from me to give you parenting advice since I don't have kids, but from what I read, you do a great job being a mother. You sound like such an involved and caring parent. I just hope that patience and perseverance are at your side when you do find yourself overwhelmed with it all.


Thank you Rose. I hope so too, that I'm doing a good job, (seriously!) and that my patience doesn't run out! Kids are such evolving personalities if you know what I mean. All you can do is love them, and keep on loving them!



My dad is pushing 70 and he hasn't found the point where it gets easier. ;~


God bless him Ted! I guess it doesn't seem so uh? Even when you're an adult. I know my mom would worry about me as an adult, that I'm alright, so I guess it never gets easier.


It never ever ends! You never actually stop being a parent, you love them too much - even as adults.


So true Jen!




\
when they become parents! Then they realize how smart you are!


This is it! WHEN THEY BECOME PARENTS, then they realise what you went through and understand more. As I did with mine!
on Sep 24, 2006

As I did with mine!

As all parent did.

on Sep 25, 2006
As I did with mine!As all parent did.


So true Doc, so true! It's only then do we appreciate being one! : )
on Sep 26, 2006
I agree in some aspects the baby years were easier. It's just different. When they're babies it's more physical work but when they're teens it's more stressful emotionally. They can wear you out more in the teenage years than they did when they were younger.

When they were younger, they'd listen to you, but when the hormones kick in, they tune you right out. Selective hearing drove me crazy.

I always tell young parents that the years 3-12 are the golden years. From 13-18 it's time to put the seatbelts on because you're going for a ride.

I like what Mark Twain said.... when they turn 13 we need to put them in a barrel with a hole in it and feed them through the hole. When they turn 16.... :
shut the hole.

There were days I felt like that. But now, it's all just a memory as now I can sit back and watch them settle and have their own families. Boy, this is going to be the fun part.   
on Sep 26, 2006
When they were younger, they'd listen to you, but when the hormones kick in, they tune you right out. Selective hearing drove me crazy.


Haha, yes, that's it 'selective listening!'


I always tell young parents that the years 3-12 are the golden years. From 13-18 it's time to put the seatbelts on because you're going for a ride.


Haha, yes, I've heard you say that before. Oh boy!


like what Mark Twain said.... when they turn 13 we need to put them in a barrel with a hole in it and feed them through the hole. When they turn 16.... :shut the hole.There were days I felt like that.


haha, funny!


it's all just a memory as now I can sit back and watch them settle and have their own families. Boy, this is going to be the fun part.


A few older people in my office are having this experience now too. Just yesterday we were discussing a co-worker's son who is now grown and recently had a son and the grand dad was wondering if he's going to be just like his son was at a certain age. If so he's in for quite a ride!!
on Sep 27, 2006
I can't say as I don't have any children (and I'm not planning on having any either). It takes all my effort to look after a big kid like myself, I just don't know how I'd cope with a couple more.
on Sep 27, 2006
I can't say as I don't have any children (and I'm not planning on having any either). It takes all my effort to look after a big kid like myself, I just don't know how I'd cope with a couple more.


I understand that Mark. I have a few friends, single and couples who are not having children as well. There's nothing at all wrong with that. I know, it's difficult enough in life so I understand the reasoning.
on Sep 27, 2006
It takes all my effort to look after a big kid like myself,


See now we got you Dyna! We all know it is the OtherMaso that has the big kid to look after!
on Sep 29, 2006
We all know it is the OtherMaso that has the big kid to look after!


Haha, cute!
on Sep 30, 2006
It seems that "we're" always children, to our parents AND
our kids are always "children"....

the work of parenting never does seem to end.....and maybe that's as it should be, what do you think??

on Oct 01, 2006
the work of parenting never does seem to end.....and maybe that's as it should be, what do you think??


No it never does Trudy. I guess you're right, when you think about it. Actually no need to think about it, when you become a parent, you're a parent for life!