Why is it so hard to keep it clean?
I’ve read that a parent shouldn’t stress over a messy room. OK. I’ve relented a bit since reading that, and even after a past discussion with the pediatrician. Some times I just close their door and ignore it. I’ve even gone inside to clean up myself if it’s too much. Or resorted to cut backs on toys, games or something that is beloved just to get the rooms cleaned up. But after a while that tactic doesn’t work anymore. At least not for my oldest daughter.
She’s a sweet child. She’s a good child. I know that. I love her dearly but for the love of George her room is a pig sty! Not ‘like a’; ‘is’! I give her some freedom because she has homework, gets busy with projects, after school activities, and works the weekends half day and what ever else she wants to do.
It’s not like she doesn’t have time. She really doesn’t make the time. I’ve given her containers, closet hanging stuff, more chests in her room, offered ideas, offered my help and assistance and she refuses my help each time. So I decided not to stress it anymore or her, just leave her be. And I did.
Until three weeks ago when I decided to open her door to seek shoes she had borrowed. Oh – my – God!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWW!
Just because I wasn’t on her case about it anymore it’ has grown into a mountain, a dump, a wasteland. Everywhere there is clothes, shoes, books, papers, everywhere. Everything is on the floor, bed, desk, dresser, chests, and every surface! No…..why?
I sat her down to find out if there’s a problem. No there isn’t. Why does the bedroom look like that? Nothing, she just hasn’t made time to clean it. Well, this can’t be left like that. That’s an invitation for bugs and every critter that lives out in the grass outside to come inside! I don’t want bugs in my home, clean it up!
She made an attempt, didn’t complete it. Several times she tells me she’s doing it. It’s still the same. Yet she has time for IMs everyday, emails everyday, her My Space everyday, the cell phone everyday, the internet to hang with her friends, everyday. Going out, doing activities after school, having sleep over, in the guest room of course, going to sleep over, trips to the mall with friends. Everything except to clean her room.
So this morning I did the one thing I should have done weeks ago. I changed all the passwords for each persons account on the computer (my computer is the only one with the Internet). Now I’m the only one with the passwords to get the computer going. No one, I mean no one is going to use it without my permission. No one is going to have their passwords, not even my hubby! He will give in to their demands that's why!
I sat and created two lists. One for my oldest daughter, and the other for my son. I wrote a list of the things that needed to be completed in their rooms. I numbered them but they can do them in whatever order they want. They must clean up because I’m at the last straw. If they can find time to have fun and do all the other stuff, they can find time to do their chores.
It was time to get a handle on this problem. While I was at work I wondered if I was just making too much out of it. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it this way. Maybe I should have done something else. But I’ve done every thing I can. I’ve talked to them, I’ve lectured, I’ve reasoned, I’ve denied them things, I’ve given incentives. Nothing worked. So the one thing they all enjoy doing on a daily basis, computer time, has been taken away until they do clean up.
So far my son has completed his task. Unfortunately my daughter hasn’t yet, because she hasn’t started. I’ll wait it out now that I’ve done this and see what happens next.
I know there are no mental or other issues going on with her. So I’m not worried about that as the reason why she’s such a slob. I told her I don’t’ expect her to be perfect. It just looks really bad for her room to be like that. Am I making too much of an issue of it? Maybe, but if you saw the room, it reminds me of pictures I’ve seen of a tornado passing through a town. That’s how bad her room is. So no, I don’t think so at all!
While I’m not perfect myself, I’ve taught them tricks to use until they can find the time to really clean. But alas, even that doesn’t work!
Oh yes, that tired task of cleanliness. Why oh why is it so difficult for them to do it?