Me thinks she doth protest too much!
I wanted to address the reaction caused by my writing of the article “An Open Letter to Our Young Ladies”
Link
When I wrote this it wasn’t my intention to have it come off as me being a prude or putting my nose into other people’s business, telling them how to dress. I also had no intention of offending anyone. I didn’t realize I would be perceived of being uppity with my responses/comments or about anything I said on that blog.
I wrote another blog about “Why Women dress like Sluts”, Link because of a radio program I was listening to, the radio DJ discussed the findings of study done about why women do dress the way they do wasn’t very flattering to me as a woman and a mother hearing his comments.
Then he also made the suggestion that some women even if they are ugly and they dress sluttish and after a few drinks they might seem attractive to some men. Well, my reaction in visualizing the scenario he painted was to laugh because it was funny, [and I’m sure that’s the reaction he wanted to get from his listeners] but when I really thought about it, I said to myself, you know that’s really not a nice scenario to be in and that’s not a good picture to paint of any woman, and the danger she could be in because of her actions.
Then someone told me about the reaction of a friend of theirs upon being around young ladies who didn’t really leave much to the imagination, they not only dress with little left to the imagination, but how they carry themselves, exposing areas no one else have no business seeing, they might as well open a club, well, having seen so many myself, I can’t blame him for his thoughts. Although as I commented in the blog I wrote (or was it a response in the blog?) anyway, I commented [not verbatim] that some men will think that way, that’s normal, it’s the actions that others will take and go one step further that would be dangerous.
I know I’m rambling, just bare with me, I had to give those of you who weren’t following my thought process.
Anyway, I wanted to address Jennifer1’s verbal lashing out against me. When she first came to this community, and for those who like to remind most of us who think this way that it’s not because we’re all online and we don’t know each other, blah, blah, yes JoeUser.com is a community. I don’t think I have to go into the whyfores of why that is. So anyway, Jennifer and I had a disagreement on one of her articles regarding race. I won’t go back to link it (sorry) you’ll just either have to go to her blog or search in mine, because after the discussion I tried to have with her, I wrote an article apologizing to everyone, including her for the discontent that happened over this.
I continued to reach out by reading and commenting on her blog, she commented on a few of mine. I am a big girl and know when to try and mend broken fences, I’m not too big to say I’m sorry, I’ll be the first to admit if I’m wrong. Because discussions can get heated, there will be differing opinions and if someone feels quite strongly about something, well, they’re going to make their stance to the end.
I’ve been in heated discussions before, with Little Whip about racial issues, Bakerstreet about women’s right to choose, most recently Xythe and I had differing opinions as well. [Xythe is fairly new to JU] In those discussions and the many I’ve had neither of us ever took it personally, never insulted the other, we each listened to the others opinion, we tried to sway each other on some points, and in all of these discussions, I walked away enlightened on someone else’s views. I don’t consider myself to be a master debater but I will discuss quite opinionatedly a topic that I feel strongly about.
When I wrote this article, Link I wasn’t focused on Jennifer1. Yes she was indirectly one of the people I was thinking about, however, that article wasn’t a flamefest about her. I guess though if the shoe fit….
I can’t understand what it is about me that rile her so? Why would someone be so filled with hatred, and that’s what it appears like to me, and I’ve never had one bad thing to say to her. I’ve told her to calm down, or suggested to re-read something because her tendency is to speak before really reading and ‘taking in’ what the writer is saying before making some comment that just didn’t fit. Her tendency to over-react was also a part of her style and I accepted that.
When I wrote the article about ‘the open letter’ it wasn’t just what she said, it was what she implied as well and I didn’t get upset with her. My comments to her were not ‘uppity’ as she said, I didn’t think they were.
The only things I can think of are these:
1) I’m an easy going person and I get along with everyone on JU
2) I’m chummy with some folks, we can joke with each other and sling mud without getting offended.
3) Maybe I’m just too good to be true, my affable personality is just too nice to be real, really now, is there such a person as I in real life?
Hmmmm, one wonders uh, could it be jealousy then? Could it be jealousy of the relationships that I’ve established and she doesn’t get the same type of responses in her discussions on everyone’s blogs? I don’t know, I’m assuming and I might just be making an ass out of myself!
Now if I were to think this way:
1) She doesn’t like me because I’m Jamaican. Being English, she’s probably had a run in with a few of my ‘kind’ in the UK and so hates all things Jamaican.
2) She doesn’t like me because I’m black. Yes, I played the race card. {how dare me?!) [of course this is absolute rubbish or is it?]
3) Maybe she doesn’t like me because I have too much opinion, I’m a mom, I’m a working mom, I have a sex life with a hubby whose fine.
4) I live in sunny Florida and she’s jealous
5) I’m black and my husband isn’t. Although we’re from the same country, he’s Jamaican too, but the mixing up of the races, she frowns on that?
I have no idea. I’m totally clueless to any of these. These are just some of the thoughts that have rolled off my tongue.
I am however not going to bother thinking about it anymore because it’s not worth the time or energy.
I am sorry for one thing though, that she had to call all of you JUsers names and insulted you the way she did. That’s uncalled for.
So I have an enemy. Hmm, in my lifetime this is the second time this has happened to me. The first time was when I first came to the US and I lived in NY. At my job there was a black American who didn’t like me because of where I was from. She felt I was too not like her in my mannerism, I didn’t sound like her, I didn’t act like her, she couldn’t understand what I was about. It took patience, me just saying hello and goodbye, and basically leaving her alone, and after a couple of months of her being around me to realize I was no danger to her, I wasn’t there to take over her friends, or her job. She grudgingly accepted me into her circle, although her friends already did. There was just no reason to dislike me other than she just did.
So here I am now, in cyber space and I’ve found someone who hates me with a passion. Wow, I must be Ms. Badass to steal a phrase from Loca!
Well, life goes on. I’m glad I got this off my chest because it was bothering me. I can no go to meet my hubby and pick up my daughter without feeling dragged down mentally!
The power of writing, I love you JUsers! Thanks for reading with me.