There’s one thing my mom taught me is to not get involve in the web of deceit that some people create. Stay far away from the fray; don’t get involve in any mix up, mix up.
I’ve done that by not getting involved in any in my life thus far. I’ve had my say, yes, I’ve stand up for people I believe in, even myself when the need arises. I think I’ve done well where that is concerned.
Mom also taught me to always try to see the good in other people. Almost anyone deserves a second chance. And above all else, never tell a lie because it will find its way back to haunt you.
These are words of wisdom I’ve tried to live my life by and these are what I teach to my three children.
Unfortunately there are times in life when things don’t always end quite peaceably, no matter how much you try to find the good in some people, they are just plain mean and there’s nothing you can do about that. In that case, you leave them to God and you just walk away.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been frantically busy at work. Between work and my family life, I’m kept really busy. Blogging is my time, the time I choose to unwind, to write creatively, and to listen to others, to give an opinion or two. To get into passionate discussions. Like or unlike minds sharing thoughts, almost as if sitting on a stool in a bar somewhere in a cyber café, looking at the world around us and just letting go. Laughing and chatting and having a healthy respect for each other.
I’m an open book, 90% of the time. I say what I mean; I speak my mind, in the most diplomatic way. I let others know how I feel, I try to put myself in someone else’s shoe, every single time, I honestly do. Throughout my life I’ve met so many different people, from so many different stages of life, mine or theirs. I’m only 41 but sometimes I feel as if I’m 101. Not physically, but mentally, because it’s like I’ve been on this earth for a long time. I’m repeating a life that maybe I’ve not lived before, but having had other lives, I’ve learned a thing or two.
This doesn’t make me great, or different, it just makes me who I am. Knowing who I am is important to me. Being a good mom is very important to me. Having a family that loves and cherish me and I them is ultra important to me. Being someone’s friend is also very important to me. I’ve got friends in real life; I can count on one hand my true friends. I have acquaintances and I have acquaintances who have become more than that, they’ve become friends.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve had to let someone who I took under my wings, let them go, mentally. The person is still in my life, but there’s no reasoning with some people when they have their minds made up. So I’ve prayed on it, and I’ve let them know where I stand and I’ve stood aside. Because I’m not their keeper and I’m also not this person’s mom. This is the person who I was thinking about when I wrote “A Battle of Wills, and indirectly, “Pretense” two of my most deeply felt prose. Admittedly, “Pretense” was also about other things I saw here at JU. When I wrote the article, “People can be so weird” it was a combination of my physical life, and again, our online community, because sometimes putting things down on paper helps me to ‘see’ things more clearly and also to release some of the mental stress I sometimes put on myself because I’m an emotional person, I feel deeply and writing is pretty much an outlet for me.
I write this because I feel turmoil and its unnecessary turmoil that makes me want to weep with the indignity being forced on all of us right now. Weep with the madness of some people’s carelessness and their stupidity. Weep, not out of grief, not out of weakness but because I’m angry. Angry. And like any other person who is angry I let loose a tirade of words that I don’t’ intend to take back because a person can only take so much. And let me also say I couldn’t care less whether I’m liked by some people or not. You can’t make everyone like you, that’s life, and hey, it’s their loss.
So, I’m posting those two poems again at the end of this long writing because they still describe how I feel and it’s time to let go of this scab that festers. The fray that rips away at will, lodged like a bone stuck in my tooth. It’s time to pull the teeth out. And so I'm following mom's advice, I'm not going to be drawn into the mix up anymore. I actually did hop out of it; I posted some other articles that was back to my normal mode of being. Unfortunately, I got sucked in again, admittedly, because I got pissed off, I'm going to react because I'm human and I'm not perfect and I refuse to make excuses for people who don't give a damn.
So I remind myself to just breathe and I ask you JUsers to please take a breath and not feed the insanity anymore. It takes two to make a quarrel and this train has long gone off the tracks and created quite a bloody mess.
A Battle of Wills
I have no time for stupidity
Such actions are prone to
the stupidity of one’s own thinking
and doing
what sense it makes
for a wedge to create
in this day of calamity
the world is turned upside
down
on it’s head
hatred abound
you take this wee bit
of misunderstanding
and create this mountain
beyond,
grandstanding
perhaps it’s just an excuse
tis to show what is really felt
waiting
to rear it’s ugly head
alas such shame
thou art young
and will come to understand
life’s all about give and take
learning to accept your battles
or letting go
alas
It is, what it is
What’s done, is done
dr
Pretense
What’s that smell?
Busted!
Tired!
Enough
of pretense
it sickens
to the core
charades
what's that all about?
sugary words
like syrupy hiccups
it hurts the ears
it blinds the eyes
it penetrates the brain
say not what you don't mean
deflection
affectation
why bother with the sham
of expectation?
words are empty if they mean nothing
ignorance is bliss
to the perpetrators
of the facade
that is themselves
sealed with a kiss
of dislike and distrust
what's that all about?
make believing to be
but
living in their own quagmire
of despair
do you smell it
that stank in the air?
that stank of indifference
it's the coldness
that makes a shiver
the ones to be wary of
as they smirk
behind the mask
of indifference
of pretense
of whatever wind that blows the stank
away
from exposure
it's cleaning time!
dr