Life as I Know It; Family; Lifestyle; and Healthy Living!
Reaching for the life jacket
Published on November 5, 2006 By foreverserenity In Life Journals
Sometimes you get into a mode of living and before you realise it, you're stuck. You get so busy with living your life, doing things a certain way and not changing your habit, even though sometimes you should. Other times you get too overwhelmed to catch up. You're so busy trying to make some parts of your life work, that sometimes other parts go by the wayside. Then things keep piling up, and you try to make a dent and the dent can't be seen no matter what you do. This is when you realise you're in a rut.

But how did I get there? Well, for me it is being overwhelmed with doing too much. Being depended on to do too much all at once. And not getting the help I need to get some things done so as to release me to concentrate on the bigger things. That was happening to me both at work and at home.

So, I was happy to get the help of a new assistant at work (not that I have a lofty position or anything like that but what I do is a lot and I needed someone to do the little stuff) and that's been a big help.

At home, I realise I've got to stop treating my kids as if they are still 3 and 4 years old. Even though I do have a five year old who is quite a handful, you've read about her so you know what I mean. But my two older children, the 17 and 12 years old were not being helpful at all. I kept going behind them, telling them what to do, watching out for their mistakes, or what they didn't do, I would clean up after them.

I realise to myself, "wait a minute, they're not babies anymore, what am I doing?!" So, I'm leaving them to their own devices, telling them what I want done only once and leaving them to figure it out. I don't have to tell them how to do it, no. They are old enough to figure things out for themselves. And if it's not done, well lets just say mom is being really firm on saying no to any requests for socializing and hanging out. Yep, mom is learning to take charge at home and not be stressed out anymore.

As for my five year old, well, she's still a handful, more than, but i"m also letting her do things for herself. She usually have the habit of yelling out for me no matter what she's doing but now I guide her through it step by step and she's learning, sometimes unwillingly.

Yesterday I did something for myself, I uncluttered the kitchen. Yeah, yeah, it's housework, but if you're someone who can't operate properly when the place is really cluttered, you would know what I mean.

It took me a couple of hours but I finally did it. I threw out everything we weren't using or that was not working. You would not believe the amount of coffee cups we had, some even without lids! My husband hates to throw stuff out and he's also a hoarder, worse than me. Someone had to do it and I knew it had to be me.

You wouldn't believe how much 'lighter' the kitchen feels! That might be weird to some people, but it really does. Now everything has a place, and if someone wants to reach for a glass or cup or spoon, they were all put away neatly somewhere. No more clutter!

At least for now.

In the meantime I'm hanging on to this new found life jacket. I'm pulling myself out of the quagmire of rut. I'm still knee deep in it, but I'm hanging on for dear life! Today the kitchen, tomorrow my bedroom! OK, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually!LOL!

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Comments
on Nov 05, 2006

As I read this,  I found myself nodding in agreement with you,  understanding totally what you're going through! I did the purging thing to my bedroom and I thought to myself that I was finished,  oh no....I just got rid of enough to see how much more I have to let go of now...yikes!

Our kitchen isn't bad,  however the living room!  Oh my goodness...you'd faint if you saw it!

Congrats on getting the kitchen fixed up, you probably are being modest about the clutter,  it's probably nothing....I'm the queen of clutter!

on Nov 05, 2006
I know the feeling too. Good luck.

It is hard sometimes to let go and let our children do for themselves. I know, but youhave to for your sake as well as theirs.

Yay to the uncluttered kitchen.
on Nov 05, 2006
It is hard sometimes to let go and let our children do for themselves


Less than an hour ago I watched my oldest son drive off and return to college. he was here over the weekend and we spent it celebrating his 21st birthday yesterday.
But yeah, he's 21 and considered a true, blue honest-toGod adult now but it's still hard to watch him drive away and go do for himself.

Heh, these ruts we get in.
on Nov 05, 2006
When you try to turn left or right and bump your head against a dirt wall, you're probably in a rut.

And if it's not done, well lets just say mom is being really firm on saying no to any requests for socializing and hanging out. Yep, mom is learning to take charge at home and not be stressed out anymore.


Good for you! Part of a parent's task, IMHO, is to teach their offspring to be responsible and self-sufficient.
on Nov 05, 2006

I realized I was in a rut when I passed the same tree for the 5th time in my little stroll through life.

Realizing it was traumatic enough, realizing why was worse, now realizing what I need to do about it will be the most painful of all.  We don't live in bubbles, we can choose to shake up our own lives, but we don't get to choose what falls out while we shake.

 

I hope your shake up goes better than mine!

 

on Nov 05, 2006
I did the purging thing to my bedroom and I thought to myself that I was finished, oh no....I just got rid of enough to see how much more I have to let go of now...yikes!


Good for you Trudy! I won't even begin to tell you what mine is like. Organise chaos is a good description. It looks neat on the surface with a couple of clothes toss in a pile, in a corner, as neatly as can be - if you call a pile neat!!


Congrats on getting the kitchen fixed up, you probably are being modest about the clutter, it's probably nothing....I'm the queen of clutter!


Thx Trudy! I'm sure you're not that bad!!


I know the feeling too. Good luck.


Yay to the uncluttered kitchen.


Thx Kelly!


It is hard sometimes to let go and let our children do for themselves. I know, but youhave to for your sake as well as theirs.


It sure is. In our minds they still need us every step of the way, and they really still do in some sense but not every step, we do have to let go, no matter how hard it is.


Less than an hour ago I watched my oldest son drive off and return to college. he was here over the weekend and we spent it celebrating his 21st birthday yesterday.But yeah, he's 21 and considered a true, blue honest-toGod adult now but it's still hard to watch him drive away and go do for himself.


I'm glad that went well. I can imagine how you feel Joe. I see my oldest getting older and I'm thinking about it. The other day we went through a mini-crisis my hubby and I. Well, not really crisis but enough of a "Oh no, its that time" to wake us up even more. You just have to take deep breaths and hold on for dear life, to your sanity and hope that they do make the right choices when they move on from home.


Heh, these ruts we get in.


Tell me about it!


When you try to turn left or right and bump your head against a dirt wall, you're probably in a rut.


Hehehe...funny!!


Good for you! Part of a parent's task, IMHO, is to teach their offspring to be responsible and self-sufficient.


Yes it is M, thx!


I realized I was in a rut when I passed the same tree for the 5th time in my little stroll through life.


I like that Ted, a lot! It makes some reflective sense to me!


Realizing it was traumatic enough, realizing why was worse, now realizing what I need to do about it will be the most painful of all. We don't live in bubbles, we can choose to shake up our own lives, but we don't get to choose what falls out while we shake.


I'm so there with you on this Ted! You get an insightful from me! Just a few minutes ago I had to go into my mom's room to get some stuff out for a relative of mine. As soon as I opened the closet door I smelt her. I know I have to get in there soon, really soon. I've just been putting it off. And it's time to do it, I know it is. It's just hard.

But I can so relate in many other ways to what you're saying though and it's absolutely true.

I hope your shake up goes better than mine!


I hope your's will be manageable somehow. Just take deep breaths and take one step at a time, no matter how painful or how difficult it is. If it must be done, it has to be. And we'll be better off for it. That's what I'm telling myself. Good luck!
on Nov 05, 2006
How strange how something as ordinary as de-cluttering can make such a huge difference in the function of our lives. Here is hoping you kitchen stays de-cluttered for quite a long time.
on Nov 05, 2006
Here is hoping you kitchen stays de-cluttered for quite a long time.


I'll drink to that! A watered-down coke, yuck!!


How strange how something as ordinary as de-cluttering can make such a huge difference in the function of our lives.


Most definately, but oh what a feeling! [oooh just thinking about Donna Summer now!!]
on Nov 06, 2006

The difference between a rut and a groove is the depth.

I Hope it is not a deep rut.

on Nov 06, 2006
The difference between a rut and a groove is the depth.I Hope it is not a deep rut.


Thx for asking. No, it's not that deep of a rut, more like a groove I guess. But there are just some things that have been left for too long because of one distraction or another. Like I said, you get comfortable and you don't realise it until you're really deep in it. I'm wading at the knees right now, not bad!!
on Nov 07, 2006
The difference between a rut and a groove is the depth


No, the difference between a rut and a groove is the beat, man

But seriously, Toni and I try to declutter at least once every couple of years. It is amazing how much we accumulate without realising it. Now you've done your kitchen, though, I suppose the rest of the house is beckoning, right? Once you start, you can't stop...
on Nov 08, 2006
Now you've done your kitchen, though, I suppose the rest of the house is beckoning, right? Once you start, you can't stop...


Yep, and yep! I'm off from work on Thursday. They're coming to clean our carpets, it will be a busy day and one I'll definately put to good use!