and some life changing choices
There are so many of us out there who are trying hard to have a sense of normalcy in our lives. Yet there are things that happen on a daily basis for some that won’t let that sense of normalcy exist.
We do continue to live in each moment and continue because our very lives depend on our own survival.
Yet the cycles continue, always moving, never changing. Do we move forward or do we keep moving backwards? I used a phrase once in one of my writings, ‘regurgitating the same sound bite’. If you think about this, it is what most of us do, hence the cycles, and then we wonder why it is so.
However, how can we move forward if we keep regurgitating the same sound bite? How can we make changes in our lives if we keep on doing the same things over and over and over again, and again?
It’s quite obvious that we were all put on this earth for a purpose. Some of us are so lucky because we have identified what that purpose is, and have moved forward and are living our lives, successfully or not, there’s a purpose and we know what it is.
Yet there are those of us who have not found that purpose yet. What is that talent that God gave us? The one thing that we’re really good at, that we’re supposed to be using to fulfill our destiny?
It’s not an easy question to answer really. Sometimes it’s there right in front of us, but we’re so engrossed in the problem, we are blind to it, and we don’t focus on that which we have seen but have passed over because we’re too busy whining about our very existence and the bad luck that befalls us.
There’s something that I’ve learned within the last four years, yes, it took me that long to learn this. That no one but me is going to make me happy. That no matter what happens in my life, I’m the only one that can pull me out of the situation, I am myself.
When I look around me, there are so many people who are so lost in their lives, so lost in their dysfunction; it has become a part of the normalcy they expect from life.
The dysfunction has become so comfortable that to exist without being that way is to not exist at all. So we become comfortable and we don’t move beyond what that dysfunction dictates.
With a new year coming up, a couple of hours away, there are many of us, me included, who will be making resolutions. I haven’t penned all of my resolutions yet, and yes, there are quite a few things which I will share later. The three things that I plan to focus on, and that I hope you will too, if you happen to be functioning within a mindset of what your life dictates to you.
(1) Stop putting a band-aid on your problems and start by taking small steps to improve your life.
This is what I call the big cover up. It’s like you know that company is coming and your place is a mess and you do the quick sweep under the rug or throw everything in the closet and lock the door. You know it’s there, that mess that you really need to go through, yet, even after the company has left, it remains.
So, it’s time to open the closet door, and/or lift up that rug, and get to the heart of what it is that you’re really hiding behind. It’s time to clean out that closet and throw away the things that are no longer useful to you, and save the things that are, and get on with the those you planned on working on to make your life better. So get the dust buster out and get rid of the dust!
(2) Stop the defeatist mentality.
OK, there are times when you might say to yourself that you’re not going to do something because you know how it’s going to end. Or you know you won’t succeed at it so why bother to try? Well, how do you know if you won’t succeed if you won’t try?! It seems you’ve already doomed yourself to failure so why bother to make the effort uh?
Well, it’s time to throw that thinking out the window. You have to try, you have to make the effort to go after what that dream of yours is. And if you don’t know what that dream is, then do a check list and maybe you will find it. What is it that you’ve always wanted to do? Even if it is doing it by yourself.
There are actually a few things that I know I wanted to do this year that I didn’t do. Sometimes because my finances couldn’t stretch for me to indulge myself. And other times because I was too scared to try.
For example, there’s a group that meets on a regular basis and I receive their newsletter and I so want to go, but not having anyone to accompany me, for support or a crutch really, I have never gone. My excuse used to be, well I don’t have my own car, and so I can’t let my hubby drive me there, he would be bored. Now that I have a car of my own, well, I think it’s time I step out of my safety zone and do it! So, that’s going to be one of the things I will get the courage to do this year. So get with it, no more defeatist thinking!
(3) Say positive things and think positively.
Doing this will definitely help with your defeatist attitude. I wrote something on another article of mine, that I think about all the time, ‘Attitude determines Attitude’ and it’s so true. If your attitude stinks, you’re never going to enjoy yourself, everything is always going to look bad and you’re never going to improve your lot in life.
So get with the program of self-improvement and start thinking positively. You do realize how much power positive thinking has don’t you? Why, your mind is such a powerful instrument, you can do whatever it is you set out to do! Just one positive thought can change your whole attitude about anything!
So think positive thoughts have positive and beautiful things (the things that give you pleasure) around you to get yourself going. Do the things you enjoy that will put you in a good mood.
And if you feel the bad mood taking over more often than you would like, take a break and let yourself experience it, then ask yourself why you were this way, and what caused it? Then maybe you can stop the cause of the moodiness before it begins. OK so that may not work, but examining yourself and finding the cause as to why you want to bite someone’s head off or beat yourself up, might help you to see the root of the problem.
For example, when I was in my exercise mode and I was at it everyday, or at least quite often and then suddenly I had no time anymore because of family obligations and other stuff. I could feel my body just seizing up, getting back to square one, undoing all the hard work I started, I was getting resentful! I was a bear with a thorn in its paw, and I was miserable to be around. I had a constant headache and constant body pains. I resented my family and my hubby felt the brunt of that resentment because he was always off doing his thing, while I was stuck at home. So we talked it out and we worked on a schedule for ‘me’ to get back with my routine of ‘me’ time. Although I haven’t done it within the last month, I plan to go back on that ‘me’ time soon. There are other factors that I have identified too, that will make me a bear to live with and things that I plan to work on. So, that’s what I mean by taking the time to get to the root of that which brings on the moodiness or the depression you might feel.
I know there are other factors involved when people will be depressed, and that’s hard to sort through by yourself. Sometimes getting help might be the best thing to do.
There are also times when getting help doesn’t work, like for me, when I miss my parents a lot, those are times when I just wallow and allow myself to experience the pain of what I’m feeling. For me being in that moment helps me to get through the loss and these episodes are getting lesser. Now these moments’ triggers happier memories and I can smile instead of cry through the pain.
May this New Year bring each of us a little closer to that dream that will become our reality.
Happy 2007 and good luck with those resolutions and most of all, have fun making it happen!
[Title quote from Joel Osteen Link, the Evangelist (the only one) who I really enjoy listening to.]