Leo Tolstoy famously wrote in "Anna Karenina, <[color]>All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way[color=blue]>>."
_____________
According to an article I read ">Linkhttp://www.amazemagazine.com/Pages/Magazine/Empowerment/2006/OctNov/we-are-family.htmlLink written by Anne Baird, a ‘solid, united’ family is one of the ‘greatest gifts’ you can have. They are however, becoming a rare thing.
She mentioned that back in the day, grandma’s days that is, there would be three generations of the same family sitting down at a celebration, like Thanksgiving or Christmas, and most of the time they would live under one roof or within walking distance of each other.
I remember when I was a little girl, there was quite a few of us who were related to each other in one neighborhood. My parents and us kids lived on one road, two roads over would be my aunt and her family, a couple of roads going in the other direction, lived another aunt, and there were various cousins and uncles, who lived stones throw away from each other. Thus some of my entire family was well-known, at that time, in that specific neighborhood. Sometimes it was a good thing, other times it was no fun! I couldn’t do anything and get away with it! But the moments when it mattered, I could be identified as, this person’s daughter, or niece, or sister, or cousin and everything would be alright.
It was a safe haven because everyone looked out for each other. My folks didn’t have to worry where any of us were and us kids, from all sides, took care of each other. Family outings on special occasions were the norm, as well as a large turn out at parties!
We weren’t always happy go lucky or loving, but we were family and we were there for each other.
Ms. Baird says that families being near to each other have changed a lot and there’s a reason for the extinct label. There are fewer people getting married these days. Really?! I know, I wouldn’t think that too, but that’s what she said in the article. Some people wait until they have accomplished some goals, like educational, before getting married. Some people postpone having children and sometimes they don’t bother to have them at all, especially because it’s often too late to have children.
She also said that birthrates have fallen in developed countries, and with the population so low, only immigration increases it. That’s pretty interesting!
The family is however, being affected by divorce, death, single-parenthood, and family members moving away to other areas, to seek better opportunities. In short, that great system of support, which bode well for me and my siblings during our growing years, is no longer there.
I couldn’t agree more with that! I experienced some of the separation myself, with my own family. With me and my immediate family living in one area and with extended families being 100; 200 or 5000 or more miles away, does not a family support system make! There are often times I wish that we were all closer together, especially for my children’s sake. They are missing out on so much of what my husband and I experienced as children, having our extended families nearby and involved in our lives, (although not too involved!) but the learning about our family and who they are, comes from us telling them about other family members and showing pictures of those who are close to us. Even today, I don’t know everyone in my extended-extended family anymore. And that’s because I live so far away.
There is hope for us families though. The strong family unit does still exist. Not just with mom and dad and children. There are other people involved now that brings a different type of family-unit makeup into the picture.
Families are now made up of different people, not necessarily blood-related, who come together and either lives under one roof, or live within the same neighborhood. That means roommates, friends, people with the same interests, divorced families with other divorced families; the older neighbors, or someone of like mind and interests who has become a close part of your family unit. I think another big thing, adoption, as well as foster care, has helped to make the changes in the family-unit as well.
Even if the person related to you is alive and well, sometimes for one reason or another, families just don’t get along, if you never had a loving father or mother, or you miss your grandparents, who have passed on, there are people out there in your life who perhaps can help you meet the needs that not having a blood-related relative around might help.
While many of us aren’t perfect, sometimes even dysfunctional, as Tolstoy so wisely stated, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
While the traditional family might be getting extinct, most of us are finding ways to fulfill the needs of having extended family units by embracing others who will make our family what it is today.
"