Agony, Optimism & A Prayer
Agony
Gosh darn allergies...another piercing screamsneeze!
Don't even ask me about the title...(or any of these subs!) I'm in a fuzzy-brained frenzy! I hate it when my thought-process gets interrupted!
So many things to do so little time. I've got several things lined up of what I want to get done this year, Some things have been on the back burner and I've got to stoke the flames of my interest again!
I tend to do that though....start things and don't follow through with why I had an interest in the first place. I tend to put me on the back burner because I"m so busy with everyone else. That's another of my goals for this New Year. I don't have this bad habit when it comes to my worklife or my kids or anyone else for that matter.
It just seems like when I finally do have a moment to breathe, I just want to chill out and not move. So some of my interests gets laid by the way side!
It's the Agony (or make that unsettling knowledge) of things left undone. Follow through I must!
Optimism
There will be a few milestones in my life this year. My husband will be 50 on his next birthday (next month)! My how the years have flown by. We met when he was 26/27. I was 17/18...goodness, I smile at the memories - hitchhiking paid off! There have been good times and bad times and some really rough times! Through it all we're still crazy about each other.
I was hoping to plan a birthday party for him. If I do a party, I would have to do it out of town because his family is out of town. But now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think that's what I'll do, he has friends that he hangs with, his gym buddies and they live here. I wonder what's a good thing to do? Turning 50 is a big deal right?!
Our oldest will be graduating high school and turning 18 this year! And plans to start college in September!
Our son will be a teenager in August and our youngest will be in Kindergarten this year as well!
I am feeling overwhelmed at the thought of it all! I want to make each moment very special for each of them and I have to think of what to do! These are the moments I wish I was a heiress or something like that!
I'm optimistic that I'll be able to pull off whatever it is I will do. I'm mulling a few ideas but nothing concrete yet!
A Prayer
A prayer is never far behind. It's a fervent wish to my Lord and Savior....the main one being peace on earth....I can dream can't I?!
My prayers are usually conversations I have with God. It's a part of me and is as natural as breathing. It's the moment of clarity and observation. Of hopes and dreams and sharing.
Of praying for those people in my life I care about....I call each by name and send a prayerful wish for each on a winged prayer and I know that they are heard.
It is not what I ask for......it is not to tell him what to do for them, but rather to ask for his guidance and blessings in their lives in whatever way He deems fitting.
Because that's the way it should be and it usually is!
Through it all I never forget to say a prayer for myself because why should I leave myself out? I hope to be able to move forward and not be stuck in the moment, ever evolving....trying to be that which I'm supposed to be.
Sometimes it's difficult to envision - what is it? - I wonder many times, am I supposed to be doing with my life. Is this it? Am I on the right path? I don't have the answers...or at least I don't know if it's so....but by evolving...somehow it must be othewise why would I be here or there?
Have you ever tried to sit still and listen....shut it all out, the distractions of your life and listen....the answer is there. Being one with yourself in that moment. Some people call it meditation...it is....some people call it Yoga....I call it a prayer!
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