the times I hate the most
The sound of the machine that gives my son his medication
the nebulizer
It might help him to breathe more easily, it might help to open his lungs after a treatment
but it is the sound I hate the most because it reminds me of how unwell he is
sometimes.
I hate the coughing that comes, that brings on the asthma
the weird look in his eyes tells me how sick he's going to be and then I worry
it's been happening on and off for the last three weeks
today to the doctor again because he got worse and his eyes got even larger than usual
he didn't seem like himself
and neither did I
If I could have one wish in the world, it would be that this sickness would leave his body
I could open his chest and pluck it out, scrape the festering pollution from his lungs
Or I could do mouth to mouth and inhale the disease into my mouth and spit it into the toilet and flush it away forever!
His life has been filled with medications, one after the other, try this one, try that one....I'm so sick of it
the pulmonologist didn't help
now it's time to try the allergist
hopefully we'll find the answers there
LIke an automation I check and I get up and make sure he's still breathing
and I administer that dreaded machine, like a weird alien mask that gives him life
until they find a cure