You are such a good mother, Donna.

I hope I can be as open and receptive and empathetic with my own daughter as you are with yours.

Thx Brandie, I try. She's my offspring and so I can't be everything I know, but I can hopefully guide her and pray things work out for the best.






Oh no doubt about that one! YOU are a great mom and will be able to be receptive to her. It's that bond that moms and daughters have!

We want to scream

Enough!  We know

Yet the sound is stiffled in our throats

Silent

We pray that we can make them see

Yet the Blind rule

In our world, the one eyed

man

Is king

yet our screams are silent

and

even the one eyed man

is silent.

why

Your poem hit home.  I added my own addendum.  If it intrudes, please delete it.  Only the parent of teens truly appreciates the journey.  As we now understand those of our parents.

You really did evoke the ziet-geist (ok, so I dont know how to spell it).  Of parents of teens.

Sorry you are dealing with this anxiety, Donna.

I hope your girl realizes that you, out of anyone in the world, are the person that she should have the most faith and trust in.

Teenagers never listen to their parents. Precisely because they are their parents, the always-taken-for-granted-because-they-know-you'll-always-be-there parents.

I don't have children and never will. But for reasons I don't comprehend children like me and teenagers confide in me. As I say, I have no idea why. It's my observation that, except in very rare cases, no teenager will willingly confide in his or her parents - because it's not until they become adults themselves that they realise that their mothers and fathers truly have been where they are now; nor can they untangle the chaos that results partly from the roaring noise of the physical, mental, emotional changes that they undergo; and partly from the fact that the very stability of the presence of parents (in sound, decent homes at least) is both an incitement to rebellion and a permission for rebellion.

The better you are as a father or mother the less your child will confide in you: not because he or she distrusts you, but precisely because she has always relied upon you.

Home, mothers and fathers: these are the places and people we leave to go try out our wings against the winds of the world and of life. Home, mothers and fathers: these are the places and people we return to only when we must, because we know that home, mothers and fathers, are the only safe harbor we have when those same winds break us and drive us back to earth.

Don't expect your daughter to willingly confide in you, don't be disappointed when she doesn't. The temptation to fly on her own will be too strong. Perhaps, when she herself is a mother, and in need once more of her own mother's wisdom, she will return to you. But maybe not. For some the temptation to beat against the wind alone proves too much. As it did for me.

We want to screamEnough! We knowYet the sound is stiffled in our throatsSilentWe pray that we can make them seeYet the Blind ruleIn our world, the one eyedmanIs kingyet our screams are silentand even the one eyed manis silent.why

Doc this is so beautiful, thank you for sharing it. I pray that I can make her see....that hit home with me, thank you!

Your poem hit home. I added my own addendum. If it intrudes, please delete it. Only the parent of teens truly appreciates the journey. As we now understand those of our parents.

Haha, I wrote my response to your first comment before reading that we wrote the same thing. Nope it stays because it adds to what I wrote! Yes, you're right. I fully understand what my mom went through with me, my sisters, my brothers.....oh boy she was a wonderfully strong woman!


And Zeitgeist just an 'e' before 'i' this time! And yes, I did Google it!! But yes...parents with teens boy o boy..God bless us everyone!

i have to make you understand you, are not alone

Joe those are the sweetest words...thank you...you got me - good!

Sorry you are dealing with this anxiety, Donna.I hope your girl realizes that you, out of anyone in the world, are the person that she should have the most faith and trust in.

Thanks Rose..I feel as helpless as a baby..I fear I'm not handling this well, not from my feelings, but from what I say or might have said in trying to make her understand. So I've decided to write her a letter. Then I'll sit with her after she's read it. Her dad and I tried to explain certain things to her, that she's rushing too quickly (since she told us she's planning to get involved with him, this is after we talked to her a little tonight) and we both tried to explain and well, we didn't shout or yell, far from it, we were both treading rarily and were on the same page but she got defensive and I'm not sure if she understands where we're coming from with what was said to her, although we have had numerous conversations prior to this, all that pales in comparison to reality.

Teenagers never listen to their parents. Precisely because they are their parents, the always-taken-for-granted-because-they-know-you'll-always-be-there parents.

Simon, believe it or not, it might sound confusing to some, but I totally understand this! Kinda the same way I took my mom for granted, but she was always one step ahead of me. I don't know how she ever did that!lol!

I don't have children and never will. But for reasons I don't comprehend children like me and teenagers confide in me. As I say, I have no idea why.

I guess that's both good and bad uh? Good that they have someone to talk to...bad if you know the parents and can't say something.

It's my observation that, except in very rare cases, no teenager will willingly confide in his or her parents - because it's not until they become adults themselves that they realise that their mothers and fathers truly have been where they are now; nor can they untangle the chaos that results partly from the roaring noise of the physical, mental, emotional changes that they undergo; and partly from the fact that the very stability of the presence of parents (in sound, decent homes at least) is both an incitement to rebellion and a permission for rebellion.

Well said! I read, felt every emotion you mentioned in her poem. She like me, is very empathic and that's why I am over anxious because I dont' want her to think that she has no one. Which is what she basically wrote!

The better you are as a father or mother the less your child will confide in you: not because he or she distrusts you, but precisely because she has always relied upon you.

Home, mothers and fathers: these are the places and people we leave to go try out our wings against the winds of the world and of life. Home, mothers and fathers: these are the places and people we return to only when we must, because we know that home, mothers and fathers, are the only safe harbor we have when those same winds break us and drive us back to earth.

True! Because as a teenager I didn't confide in my mom because I felt I couldn't at the time, even though she tried, which is pretty much the place I'm in right now!

Don't expect your daughter to willingly confide in you, don't be disappointed when she doesn't.

I know and I already am a bit disappointed, more in myself because of the way I feel though.

The temptation to fly on her own will be too strong. Perhaps, when she herself is a mother, and in need once more of her own mother's wisdom, she will return to you. But maybe not. For some the temptation to beat against the wind alone proves too much. As it did for me.

Yes, she's tempted to go it alone but I'm going to have my say first to let her know that she is not alone. I wouldn't be mommy if I didn't. I understand the urge to go it alone, which I tried to do but thank heavens my mom was as stubborn as me! I hope when it's my son's turn, [God, to think there are two more 'teenage years' to go through!] that he won't go it alone. I know that must have been hard for you.


Thank you guys for your thoughts. I'm really grateful for them! And I've stopped crying now, cause you guys gave me food for thought and were so sweet. Whomever said you JUsers were a bunch of sheeps uh?! A big heart and I'm happy to have found this place! Seriously!