We All Need Love

Or so we think!

Published on June 20, 2007 By foreverserenity In Personal Relationships

EmperorofIceCream wrote an article about love, “What’s Love? – And who needs it anyway?”, Link . I found it to be a pretty insightful article and made a comment that got me thinking (thx for the inspiration Simon!) My comment to his article:

[quote]Love is what everyone seems to need and crave. In a way it seems to validate some people's existence and the lack of it makes them so insignificant.

Something I'm trying to make my daughter see because for her, she is loved, finally by someone of the opposite sex who is interested in her, makes her feel needed. Don't ask where the years of our parental love, affection and teaching has gone. But I digress. It is taking some time to realise that she has her own path and we are letting her take it. It just grates against everything I know in my heart she's not, unloved, incomplete and insignificant. She must learn to love herself, and that is something I've always taught her. Unfortunately the influence of outside factors, namely friends, and everything else around that lets people negate who they are because of how they look or do not look has been a much bigger influence than I realised. In a way I was much like her when younger, shy, unsure of self...she has to discover what I have learned over the years, so I leave it to her fate and hopefully the path she takes will be kinder to her than it has been for me.

Sorry, I'm making this all about me! At any rate, insigtful article and one that made me think too much!lol![end quote]

(Oooh, misspell words!lol) Since I had other thoughts on this topic, I’m penning it here.

I’ve realized that in looking back at my life as a teen one thing that I was searching for was love. Much like my daughter is and seems to have found (she thinks) and too early (for me to handle heaven help me!). I understand how she feels now (today) from conversations we have had over the past weeks, because in looking back at my teen years, all of my friends had someone else other than their parents or relatives to love them and I didn’t!

I hadn’t, did not realize that this need would happen to her (my daughter) too. But while I came to realize over the years of growing up, from 16-18, that my true love will find me someday and I just have to be patient and wait, and continued to live my life and enjoy it to the fullest, she has not given herself that chance. And I do realize that her life is not mine and we live in such different times now, wherein everything seems to be so different now; technology, the quick fixes, the wants and the lack thereof. My world on a Caribbean island being able to explore freely, without fear of anything, was so much different from the world of today. So many cautious factors are prevalent today because of the criminally-minded in our society that negates a young girl going out there to have adventures that would be a learning experience. While I had one friend, and we are still friends today although we live in different parts of the world, who was as adventurous as me and we did everything together. There hasn’t been someone like that for her. She has girlfriends yes, but none who would be the same that my friend was to me. That much I wish she had.

To look at what seems to be a wish for most people though, especially women, love seems to be, or is on the top of their lists. It is something that has been glorified by the media and individuals at large and why shouldn’t they want it too? In essence, I guess we can’t blame them!

Simon asked in his article, “Can you, and should you if you can, love yourself?” I definitely think you should love yourself first above everything else, even God. Because if you don’t love yourself, how can you love others, even God? If you don’t appreciate you and know your own self and your wants, how can you freely give of yourself to others?

Sometimes in seeking this love, people get lost because of the physical aspects of that love. It is sometimes to their detriment that they realize that the physical part of love isn’t all there is to being loved.

Love is such a complex thing/emotion and there are so many aspects of it that can be for some people, too much to handle.

However, while it is complex, it can be as beautiful and the nice and cuddly part of love is what many seek and hopefully will find. Love can be sweet, pure, endearing, and effortless, and at the same time it can be a lot of work and demanding!

One of the things that many people, including myself, has come to realize is that you have to be prepared to handle what love brings. You have to be prepared to make it work and most of all, you have to love yourself; so that over time as you get older you come to appreciate it more than you did when you were much younger.

Comments

Trudygolightly

on Jun 20, 2007

This is a beautiful and insightful article serenity

I much agree with all what you said, and while some that are strongly religious might disagree with you about loving yourself before God, I feel and think the same way about that as you.

Even when a man or woman doesn't have a "significant other" in there life, there's always the love one has for family, friends, nature, old people, and much more. One's life doesn't fall apart nor is it less just because one isn't in a relationship. We have many relationships and love to offer other people.

I know though that it's difficult to get a young person to understand that! Hopefully all the love, understanding, and education your daughter has had will be her guide through this.

foreverserenity

on Jun 20, 2007

This is a beautiful and insightful article serenity

Thx Trudy!

while some that are strongly religious might disagree with you about loving yourself before God, I feel and think the same way about that as you

I know...blasphemous...almost, but the truth nonetheless!

One's life doesn't fall apart nor is it less just because one isn't in a relationship. We have many relationships and love to offer other people.

Exactly!

I know though that it's difficult to get a young person to understand that! Hopefully all the love, understanding, and education your daughter has had will be her guide through this.

Absolutely! I hope so too, thx for your kind words!

Shovelheat

on Jun 20, 2007

Nothing more complicated than Love, Donna!

foreverserenity

on Jun 20, 2007

ROFL!!! I remember that scene from Lucky Louie! I love that show! Those two are so real for being a couple on tv!

! I was feeling so meloncholy and you wiped it away! Thx Joe! And ya know what, Louie is such a liar, all guys have that fantasy!

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