Couples are choosing not to have children
This morning on Good Morning America they mentioned a report they did about many couples today who are getting married are not planning to have children. Many feel this is not their focus or a priority and so they are not having children, they ‘choose to be child-free’ as the report said.
Forget about succesful adults, everyone seems to be thinking the same way these days. They do not want to have children! It seems to be the choice of a lot of young women and couples that I know personally as well. In fact, a friend and I, she’s 24 were having this conversation just the other day. She doesn’t want children and don’t factor them into her life plan. I told her not to feel bad saying that to me, I won’t judge her, and that I can understand why she wouldn’t want to have kids.
The GMA report mentioned a recent survey that was done by the Pew Research Center that find quite a lot of people who think that having children in a marriage is unimportant and not a priority, and many who think that children do not make a successful marriage.
Some feel that if they do have children then they, the couple in the relationship, won’t be the focus of their union and they won’t have time to devote to each other. The children would become the priority of their marriage. They also wouldn’t have time to do anything else because they would be spending time to take care of their children.
Where my friend is concerned, she said she just doesn’t have the patience to deal with kids. Her boyfriend, who she lives with, has nephews and nieces and she has been around them, they often have them over for a day or a weekend and that experience confirmed for her that she would not be a good mother.
We laughed together at her decision and I told her yes, being mommy requires a lot of patience but that alone shouldn’t really tell her she wouldn’t be a good mom because she’s a nice person and I’ve seen her around my youngest, albeit I do see the bout of impatience on the surface! At the end of the day it’s her choice and I’m not judging her as I do see her point.
For some people, it’s because having children is very expensive, although those of us who do have children, didn’t look at it in that way (and maybe if we had we wouldn’t have any now)! Also, there are those couples who are very capable financially, and have very successful careers, but are too busy living their lives instead of having children who would get in the way of their lifestyle. There are also those couples who are unable to have children even though they might want to, and some do give up trying, unless they decide to adopt.
Many of us will think or say that these people are selfish because we can’t imagine not having children. How can a couple, married, in love, happy, not want to have children? Especially if they are financially stable! It’s beyond our understanding! However, if we should look at some of the reasons, because not everyone is wealthy and/or successful, the expenses in more ways than we can count; the cost of healthcare and dental care; education; and the major change in lifestyle, that’s quite a lot of reasons why some don’t think they should be bothered with children. The fact that to take time off from work, if the mom (or dad) is unable to stay home full-time, the effects that can have on their jobs, especially if there is no flex time or understanding boss or supervisor, that alone in itself makes it very difficult! There are other countries that make being a parent a priority, so much more than is done here in the United States. Why only within the last couple of years have women been able to take time off with pay (and some without) to go on maternity leave. Not to mention the many people who think that having children around is a nuisance and an annoyance when I think about the incidents recently and of others in the past, because of children traveling with their parents.
With all that, why should someone who ‘have the whole world at their feet’ can you blame them if they chose not to have kids? Can you blame those who are affluent and too busy living their lives and feel that a child would be an interruption, so they choose not to have any? It’s not that they hate children; it’s just the inconvenience of it! It’s their choice and that’s good for them!
I’ve thought about it and asked myself if I had the chance to do it all over again, would I have children? Yes, I would, maybe a lot earlier than I did, meaning there would be a lot less years between them! It’s so much easier when the kids are closer in age, say, only a year or three apart. But otherwise, I wouldn’t change one thing, even with all the growing pains! And that dear reader is the perfect choice for me!
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