If you don’t have anything nice to say

Then keep your thoughts to yourself!

Published on September 9, 2007 By foreverserenity In Blogging

Why does everyone feel that they have to be a critic? Why do they feel they always have to have something to say about any topic? If saying something, why not say something nice, or even pretend to be nice then if you HAVE to be heard, but for heavens sake stop being rude!

What do people get out of being rude, seriously?! Does it make them feel better about themselves because they have seemingly had the last word or show up someone else? Is being rude so trendy or would it kill ya to be considerate of someone else’s feelings?

I read an article today on msn.com/entertainment about a recent show, Fashion Rocks, it’s an annual event that features singers, rockers and actors and some folks from the fashion world – in short, celebrities! Some people might not have an interest in this unless they have an interest in this kind of genre. I found it interesting because I’m a fan of Jeremy Piven, and I also love fashion, so I read the article.

At the end of the article, readers can comment about it, what they read, etc. I noticed five comments were made at the time of my reading. I clicked on them, only to read the most asinine things that people can say to each other! These are not young people, these are older adults who wrote made some of these comments! The things they said, I found really rude and out of place. They saw the title of the piece “Fashion Rocks With Piven and Lopez” what they heck did they expect to see? An article about some life saving mission? A Miracle on 34th Street? Or some scientific discovery? You mean they clicked on the article, written in the Entertainment section and they are spewing disgust because it is about celebrities? It is amazing to me how some people don’t have anything better to do than to be rude to others. I’m sure the writer of that piece must be scratching his/her head and wondering why?

People, if you don’t have anything nice to say, then keep it to yourself!

I’m linking the article, but the comments seemed to have been erased and I can’t say I blame MSN!

Link

Comments

Locamama

on Sep 09, 2007

Some people just have nothing better to do. I'm with you, I think niceness matters and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I know I slip but for the most part, I try really hard to not be too critical.

dynamaso

on Sep 09, 2007

I've been accussed in the past of being 'too nice', like this is wrong or a crime. What is 'too nice' anyway. I was brought up to be polite, say please and thank you and to try to do right by my fellow human. I slip too sometimes but at least I'm aware of what I'm doing. I think some just express nastiness because they know nothing else.

OckhamsRazor

on Sep 10, 2007

This article SUCKS! Just kidding.

In real life, many people are forced to "act nice" when they don't really want to. Usually out of fear of reprisal. For example, you know that gal or guy that crosses the street slowly in front of you, not at a crosswalk, glaring at you and moving the speed of a tortoise on valium just daring you to be upset by it? Ever want to remove them from the planet for being rude but hiding behind the "pedestrians have the right of way" thing? Oh the list of things that happens while you're driving could explain this by itself, so I won't go on - one example should spark the others in your imagination.

Point is, the Internet has created what I call "Desktop Warriors." Safe behind their anonymity, they take all of their frustrations from these real life situations out on anyone they can target, and even then, if you call them down on it, they'll say "Well exercise your freedom of choice and hit the back button" usually followed by some equally pleasant epithet.

It's a little glance into the true nature of many humans.

Or on a milder analysis, some people get tired of not being brutally honest when they want to be - as you put it "pretend to be nice." They don't want to "pretend" because it feels like a lie. It IS a lie. You don't feel nice, you want to say what you think, but because of some reason, you have to lie instead. Example, by a show of hands, let me see who here in the studio audience has ever worked for someone who wasn't the brightest bulb in the world? Most of you? K. So here you are, trying to scratch out a living, and you want to make good and improve things and maybe get some accolades and perhaps that 25 cents an hour raise you've been dreaming about, but your boss shoots you down. HE/SHE holds the cards to your future employment success. You might want to say to this person, who's making more money than you do, usually on YOUR abilities to make them look good "Dude, you're a complete idiot. Any one with two neurons to rub together could see how this idea would improve things." But you can't. Not if you want that raise. Not if you want that future promotion. Not if you don't want to deal with looking for yet another job where things have just as good or better of a chance of being worse.

Then there's the parent explanation. People raised by control freaks that tell them what to do, what to think, how to be, what clothes to wear, what music to like. And I don't mean normal parenting things which are legit like "do your chores, be polite (in general) etc..." I'm talking about parents whose parents ALSO control freaked on them and so they grew into control freaks themselves.

Then there's the Gen Xers who grew up thinking they deserve everything they want by virtue of the fact that they breathe air, and will hold that breath and stamp their feet until everyone is so sick of listening to them that they give them what they want just to shut them up.

There are a million reasons in everyday life where a LOT of people want to just say what they think, but we live in a society where brutal honesty is replaced with the phrase "no tact." "You're not very pleasant...you're not very tactful...you COULD have said it more nicely...why can't you just be nice." Well, honesty didn't recommend it, I guess.

So anyway, (he said while rambling out an answer at 5:30am with not enough coffee), this society of induced "tact" is creating some people that totally LOVE the fact that they don't have to "pretend" to think something anymore and who don't have to "water it down" because someone's feelings might get hurt. Unfortunately, it becomes such a habit to slam anything that moves that pretty soon you see a poster say "The sky is blue" followed by a response "Your an idiot!!111eleven" ('You're' misspelling intentional).

It all reminds me of an original Star Trek episode where Kirk and the gang beam down to this planet, and everyone is docile to the point of almost being in a coma. They're polite to a fault. And then one hour, each day, the entire town goes NUTS. People drinking like crazy, fornicating in the streets, breaking stuff...just going crazy. Well, America doesn't have that hour, they have the Internet.

foreverserenity

on Sep 10, 2007

I'm with you, I think niceness matters and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Exactly!

What is 'too nice' anyway

Good question!

I think some just express nastiness because they know nothing else.

True! Niceness is learned after all right?! Some people just find it hard to be nice period!

This article SUCKS! Just kidding.

You suck!

Oh the list of things that happens while you're driving could explain this by itself, so I won't go on - one example should spark the others in your imagination.

Oh I don't need imagination, I see it everyday! Drivers and pedestrians alike!

Point is, the Internet has created what I call "Desktop Warriors." Safe behind their anonymity, they take all of their frustrations from these real life situations out on anyone they can target, and even then, if you call them down on it, they'll say "Well exercise your freedom of choice and hit the back button" usually followed by some equally pleasant epithet.

! so true!

It all reminds me of an original Star Trek episode where Kirk and the gang beam down to this planet, and everyone is docile to the point of almost being in a coma. They're polite to a fault. And then one hour, each day, the entire town goes NUTS. People drinking like crazy, fornicating in the streets, breaking stuff...just going crazy. Well, America doesn't have that hour, they have the Internet.

I remember that episode!

! Ha, you're right, the Internet is a den of fornicating-crazy-rude-annonymity! Or something like that!

Then again, some of us just enjoy being assholes!

I'll say!

Dr Guy

on Sep 10, 2007

Anonymous posting - which most of these comments are - is a way for Casper Milquetoasts to snort and paw the ground with no fear that a bigger bull will take up the challenge.

foreverserenity

on Sep 10, 2007

Anonymous posting - which most of these comments are

Yes, most times they are. Only cowards do such things! They make a lot of noise but are too afraid to face the music or someone's fist!

OckhamsRazor

on Sep 10, 2007

Hopefully my point wasn't missed. People - ALL people - need to be honest with themselves as to whether or not they have an intellectual leg to stand on, and if they don't, they shouldn't be upset when someone calls them out on it. In fact, they should HOPE for it. All the lack of being able to intellectually support something without fear of repercussion breeds is angry people that feel they cannot voice their opinions for fear of retribution. If we (collective) were free to voice opinions, with substantiation mattering, and without being punished for it, then you'd probably see less choads doing so with impunity on the Internet.

That's not the case in the world today. Any number of individuals or groups just say whatever the hell they want to say with no logical argument behind it, and if you call them on it, they already have a litany of rationalizations for why they believe what they believe, and NO ONE can change their minds. Truth is, they already know the deal, but to admit defeat threatens their power. Subjectivism is evil - that's my opinion (get it? that's a joke! haha

)

Trudygolightly

on Sep 10, 2007

Good article Serenity, I think each and everyone of us could do better at being kind instead of verbally beating each other up.

I think it takes a mature person to know something and just "walk away silently" ( so to speak) instead of making cutting remarks about any given situation.

foreverserenity

on Sep 10, 2007

That's not the case in the world today. Any number of individuals or groups just say whatever the hell they want to say with no logical argument behind it, and if you call them on it, they already have a litany of rationalizations for why they believe what they believe, and NO ONE can change their minds.

This is true. It's an argument that goes both ways too!

Good article Serenity

Thx!

InBloom

on Sep 11, 2007

I don't mind criticism as long as it's presented well. Some ppl just take it too far, and they end up looking like fools.

foreverserenity

on Sep 11, 2007

I don't mind criticism as long as it's presented well

It would be safe to say this is how most people feel!

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