"I don't care what they say about me, this is my life, da da da da daaaaa
I don't care if they say it's time to come home. I don't care anymore this is my life, go ahead with your own life, leave me alone!"
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The words are probably mixed up, but that song has been buzzing around my head for too long! I'm not telling anyone off, no one has accosted me to tell me I'm living my life wrong or to live it their way, thank heavens! I just like that song and have been humming it a lot lately. Almost subconsciously in fact!
Positive Vibrations
My life isn't perfect, far from it but it's moving along and I'm handling things the best I know how. I'm realizing one thing, I can't keep complaining about things when they don't go right, i.e., the end result in the way I want it to be. I have to continue to have a positive outlook and if I can flip the switch to let whatever it is work for us.
So I've been doing a lot of positive affirmations. It's not like I've never done that, it's just that I get so caught up in daily living I sometimes forget to. I don't realize how much I'm focusing on the negatives and that can weigh you down! So I've been trying to get into doing things differently.
A Little Bit of Feng Shui in My Life
For one thing I've been looking into Feng Shui, which I knew about from the longest time given I'm into wellness and serenity and peaceful existence and all that. I just never applied it to my life and never saw the need for it. I've been thinking lately that to bring in better things, to realize some of the goals I have and to get rid of what seems like a stagnant way of being, i.e., get out of the rut, I've started doing little things with that in mind.
You ever take stock at your life and ask yourself, where the heavens did the time go, what happened and is this how you want your story to end? Well, call it a mid-life crisis, maybe not, but something like that, I realized that I want there to be more about my life, for my kids than the ho-hum acceptable way of just existing. And while I can't go out there and save the world or even do something on a grand scale for even my kids, I can start taking baby steps to enlightenment.
I began to clear the clutter, yes, that clutter that I've referred to from time-time, I have seriously begun to do something about it. You don't “see” how much junk you have collected over the years. When I took stock of my bedroom, in all the corners, there was a group of stuff, clutter in all four corners! My night stand was overflowing with stuff, bills that came in, books to be read, magazines, books I've read, receipts, bags piled up on top of each other....my God how did I get in that state?
Then I took a look at my husband's corner and his was just the same. Then I looked under our bed and my God the amount of sneakers and junk under there I wondered when all that happened?! I accosted (yes accosted in a nice way) my hubby and demanded to know where did all the junk under the bed came from? He did it, that part he's guilty of. He said I used up practically all the closet space so that's where he ended up putting his stuff! Poor baby! I promised him I would do something about it! Gosh, I didn't even realize that!
Then I had a roll away cart stocked with magazines (can you tell I love magazines?!) and clothes and other stuff! Stuff, stuff, stuff! Stuff is overtaking my life and I had to get in control of it! On the entertainment unit in our bedroom, we have a TV and on top of it, all over it, you guessed it more junk! Plus I had my stuff animal collections on top of it, dolls, bears, pups, you named it, it was arranged on top of it!
So I started slowly, one corner at a time. Let me tell you, I threw out a lot of garbage bags in a four day period! Then I dusted and vacuum and put all the stuffed collection in a bag for safe keeping. I wend down on my knees and dragged every last bit of shoe and stuff from under the bed and vacuumed under it too! Wow, what a difference! I could feel the lightness of the room already!
Now I’m looking into having some candles displayed and re-arranging the bed a different way so as to allow for a better ‘flow’. I refuse to take the television out of my bedroom though. Nope, I put it on sleep and it nods me to sleep at nights! Plus it’s there when either of us is restless, so the TV stays!
I’ve also been looking into having more live plants rather than the dried flower arrangements I have all around me. Our potted plants are thriving and I’m going to get some more to put in different areas of our home. It’s a tedious process but I plan to clear every clutter out of my home one corner at a time!
My Eighteen Year Old
She’s doing fine. She’s been working and is finally registered to start college in January! Hallelujah! (can you hear the angel singing?!) I’m so glad I decided to leave her alone and let her do it her way. I didn’t have to get on her case. She realizes how important it is for her to continue her education!
The boyfriend is also registered for college! I’ve been to visit them and the place is a cute little one bedroom. They even have a cat! She isn’t driving yet but that will come in time when she is ready. We’ve been talking a lot on the phone. She calls me at odd hours, asking my advice or input. Getting recipes….I’m glad she is doing that.
Believe it or not her bedroom is still the same. I have not been in there to do anything else other than vacuum and put clean sheets on the bed. I plan to rearrange it but for now it is as it was. She’s even still has some clothes and stuff in it that she comes and pick and choose from when she needs to. She knows our home is still her home.
I miss her though. But I know that she is being her own woman and I’m proud of her for it.
The Siblings
Well, they’re doing alright. My son has had the cast removed from his arm. He’s supposed to do therapy. He’s back in school and I’m working on keeping him focus on his lessons and projects. He gets really antsy, really restless and sometimes bored with school. I have to stress to him how important it is and he has to put his mind to it in order to excel. I’ve been in close contact with his teachers and continue to do that. He’s a bright kid but does get distracted.
My youngest is doing well in Kindergarten. She’s doing well at home with all her friends too. There are moments when she gets into self-doubts, little girls can be vicious, but I’m there to pick her up and let her know what’s what. It’s hard being a kid in today’s society! It’s so hard for girls too. I’ll blog more on that another time.
Living in the Moment
Well, time for me to run. I’ve got to go pick up both daughters today. One from the optician the other from school! Life gets very chaotic at times and I wonder if I’m doing it right? But I’m not on any one’s schedule and don’t plan to be! I might not have the fancy trappings that some people do but I am myself and I am a work in progress! (you hear that you irritating in-laws and other relatives ?!)
I can only hope to continue to be all that I can and to prepare my children to be all that they too can be in their own lives. Even at my age, I swear sometimes I feel like the eighteen year old, I may not be exactly where I wanted to be say ten years ago, but I am exactly where I should be.
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