Have you ever wonder if the things you experience in your life happens only to you? It feels so all the time. Yes, I know there are people out there who are going through so much more than I am right now. Much deeper stuff that is life threatening and so much more painful because it is happening to them. However, this is my life and is important to me. There are things that are so difficult to handle at times. You present yourself to the world in the calm manner because you have to do that. You have to be calm and sane or go mad from the frustration of it all. And no, I don't need a psychiatrist! I'm allowed to feel this way, I'm human. My life is like a roller coaster at times, around and around I go, again, and again. There seems to be no end to the problems that faces me right now. I made a plan to begin uncluttering my life. Step by step I decided it was time to start doing things the way I want them, to continue with the goals that I seem to have forgotten about due to dealing with my daily life. It seems there's always drama going on, each week. So I started working out again. That was my first step. Its hard, so hard when I began. I kept wondering to myself how in God's name did I let myself go so much? When did I get so large that I have to now work so hard to take off the fat that has become me? Then I think back to my last pregnancy. My "baby" is almost three. So it was definately time to get back into shape. Plus I'm getting up there now, I will be looking at the big one next year (no, I'm not saying how old I am). So its now or never. The good thing is it's getting better. I love working out right now. It's such a great way to get rid of stress and the frustration. When you work out you feel like you can climb any mountain, literally. The energy - whew, like good sex! The only time I don't work out is when I feel overwhelmed. Actually, I try not to let it stop me but there are times when it does. I'm also a very spiritual person and I pray a lot. Have you ever prayed and wanted something so bad, like you want it right now? And when it doesn't happen, when there's no solution, at least it seems there isn't, you wonder where is God? Why isn't he answering your request? And even though deep down I know He is there and hasn't left me alone, it just seems like you are all alone. I forget sometimes and go off in a tangent, forgetting that I must first let go. I must let go of the problem and let God lead. Afterall, he does it in his own time, not yours,and when its right. Somehow He always come through! Isn't it marvelous! Anyway, as I was saying before going off in another direction! So, I've started working out and so far its going well. I haven't lost three dress sizes yet but I'm working at my own pace and doing it the right way - without diet pills. I've been tempted to use them, believe me. Sometimes I see these people on television and the miracle of the diet pills makes me want to go out there and buy some. But I don't. I want to do this my way and the right way. The next step is to unclutter my bedroom. Its not messy like those on the HGTV program. I'm not a packrat. But I have books, magazines, articles, mail and other paperwork that I need to organize and they're in boxes and piles in all the corners of my bedroom. I know, not very romantic and where is the harmony I'm seeking. Plus the closet also needs some attention too. My husband doesn't complain but it bothers me. When you can't think and don't feel a sense of....I can't think of it but you know what I'm talking about. You know, if you don't feel a sense of coming home to a beautiful, relaxing, romantic bedroom, well, there's something wrong with that picture. So, that's the next step. My most major step, which I'm working on is the financial aspect. My God what a mess. I know, join the club you say, with so much having change for us, new jobs, less pay, no more "spendable cash", its hard making ends meet at times. So, herein lies the frustration I feel. Do you not see why life can be so frustrating? I need answers and solutions. I know I probably didn't give much detail on some parts of it. But, let me know what your thoughts are anyway. Plus I would love to know how you handle the daily trials in your own life. I could use a tip or two. I try to be superwoman but I'm not. I keep telling myself that over and over and over... Plus with three kids, yes, three, and nope, no more! Its not easy to handle and so I decided to write this blog. I wondered whats its like for someone else in their life, how do you handle it? Ye gads! it's 1:35am, work tomorrow. I've got to stop now but hope to talk to you again.