Last week at my WW meeting I lost 2.4 lbs! This week, I've last 2.6lbS!!! Wow! My hard work and dedication is paying off in results that I never thought would happen! That is 17.2lbs since January! Whoo hooo!
The journey does get really difficult sometimes! I have moments of displeasure and self-dislike that might be the pendulum of my blood sugar! However, I always pick myself up out of that quagmire of self-doubt and get my bum moving once more! Usually after a workout the highs are just so fantastic because I feel so very good about myself!
I love myself, don't get me wrong, I consider myself to be pretty level-headed but I didn't realise that there was so much crap placed in my subconsious that gives me that self-defeatist attitude at times. Much like any little girl would do, I found myself comparing myself to others, especially to what our society's definition of beauty is.
This is something that happens to everyone, not just a little six year old, or a teenager, but also to me, a grown woman! That is why it is so difficult for a girl or woman to think themselves beautiful, and why so many women have such a bad relationship with food!
We seek approval from those around us who are supposed to find us beautiful, and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they use words to say the things that they know will hurt, they refer to our bodies, and they make us not think we are good enough.
I remember a time a long time ago, I was a little girl of 12. My dad was angry at me for something I had done. What I had done was not the end of the world, but at the time it was bad (I tattled and it caused a fight between two room mates, bad enough for the police to be involved)! He said something to me that I've never forgotten and that sat in my subconcious for a long time. The angry words I don't quite remember, but the one thing I do remember is him calling me fat! My dad, the person who was my hero, the person I loved with all of my heart, called me fat. It hurt at the time, I never told him how much. I know he was angry at himself for saying it, he apologised, but the hurt was already done.
So you see, be careful what you say to those precious little girls of yours out there, because it might scar them for life or be a hurt that doesn't go away.
Growing up, I didn't love my father less, or hate him. He always was and always will be my hero, even though he's not of this Earth anymore.
But I wondered if that was where my love-hate relationship with my body started. My self-conciousness, my self-doubts! I think so.
That is why I am very careful with my two girls, even my son. I don't let them refer to themselves in a negative manner, or anyone else talk to them in that way, not even to each other! I boost their confidence and let them look for the good in themselves. We all need to do that and stop comparing ourselves, and pointing out our shortcomings. I have to remind myself not to do that, a lot! So yes, practice what I preach!lol!
Just this morning at the gas station, the attendant, a young man, who kept making mistakes, said sometimes he was a bit slow, I said to him not to worry about it, it's early yet. He slipped up again and made another negative comment about himself, I said, "Hey, it happens to everyone, it's only Thursday"! He said something else again, something about missing the boat when it comes to being bright! Wow, we do those things without realising it! You don't have to be a female to criticize yourself, guys do it too. And I can imagine the people who have drummed that sort of thinking into his subconcious! Sad!
There is just so much that we are that is good, we sometimes forget. I think we should make a point to remember to do that, look for the good things about ourselves, and don't harp on the negatives!
So I plan to continue with this weight loss journey of mine. There will continue to be good and bad days I'm sure, but I won't let the bad overcome the good!
Good luck with your journey as well, we can do this so keep up the good work!