Someone sent me an email with this job description for mothers. I thought it was funny but a fitting description. Perhaps some of us wouldn't have accepted it if we had the responsibilities spelt out to us beforehand! Lol! However, despite the trials and sometimes being unappreciated, it's the best job in the world!
Here's to all you moms out there!
Mom Job Description[/B]
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which
will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities.
Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from
zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social
gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle
assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best
but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor
maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you
die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do
more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
play your cards right.