Life as I Know It; Family; Lifestyle; and Healthy Living!
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Published on May 18, 2005 By foreverserenity In Humor
1. Your last name stays put.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be President.
6. You can never be pregnant.
7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
8. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
10. The world is your urinal.
11. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
12. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
13. Same work, more pay.
14. Wrinkles add character.
15. Wedding dress $5000.
16. Tux rental-$100.
17. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
18. The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected.
19. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
20. One mood all the time.
21. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
22. You know stuff about tanks.
23. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
24. You can open all your own jars.
25. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
26. f someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
27.Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
28. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
29. You almost never have strap problems in public.
30. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
31. Everything on your face stays its original color.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. You only have to shave your face and neck.
34. You can play with toys all your life.
35. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
36. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
37. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
38. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
39. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Comments
on May 18, 2005
"21. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. "

I beg to differ on this point. My husband loses this one hands down. ! When he gets on the phone with his brothers are his mom....there's no stopping him!

on May 18, 2005

19. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Hmmmm....maybe because we dont buy a new pair every week?  We are simpler after all!

on May 18, 2005
26. f someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

LOL! Yup! I can't count the number of times my female friends cut someone out of their lives or were just infuriated with them because they forgot to invite them out to a movie one time or something like that. If I don't get invited, I figure it's something I wouldn't have wanted to go to anyway. Women seem to think that they should be invited everywhere, even if you know they won't want to (or are unable to... that one confuses me) go.
on May 18, 2005
I don't know about men being happier, but you've got some good reasons they should be.
on May 18, 2005
23. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.


That is just learning how to pack!
on May 18, 2005
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

Except of course for the part that falls out.
on May 19, 2005
Reply By: Dr. GuyPosted: Wednesday, May 18, 200519. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Hmmmm....maybe because we dont buy a new pair every week? We are simpler after all!


You guys just don't know what you're missing!


Reply By: Danny BassettePosted: Wednesday, May 18, 2005I don't know about men being happier, but you've got some good reasons they should be


Spoken like a true man Danny! Men are so simple (and that's a compliment by the way!).


That is just learning how to pack!


Yea Doc, why is it the wife always end up packing for everyone? You guys forget everything!



The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. Except of course for the part that falls out.


Ha, ha Mason, you're right I guess. Don't forget some women like bald men!

on May 20, 2005
People are always staring at my chest. but maybe that's because I have my nipple pierced and it makes it look like I have one HUGE nipple.

my sister and lady were talking the other day about how convenient it would be to remove ones breasts if they were in the way for some reason.

Reminds me of the song "detachable penis." that would be a great feature! It gets in the way all the time!
on May 23, 2005
I have my nipple pierced and it makes it look like I have one HUGE nipple.


That must be quite a nipplering you have there.....not to mention...quite a chest!


Reminds me of the song "detachable penis." that would be a great feature! It gets in the way all the time!


Har, har...I don't think I've heard it....but I guess for most guys this is no problem...they're able to tuck and fold....but then again...I have no idea what I'm talking about...!