I had my very first mammogram this morning…..my God I’m still reeling from it. The nurse was very nice and very helpful trying to make it go easy but I can’t begin to tell you how I felt.
First of all I forgot that I had this appointment scheduled more than four months ago...that’s how popular and how widely used the company who provide these services are and they also do X-rays and such so there’s a long waiting list hence being scheduled so far down the road.
They called to remind me and I left my office with my husband in tow (he drove me there). When we got there he made this comment, which knowing what a warped sense of humor he has and knowing how anxious I was, about not climaxing while having it done! I know, I told you he had a warped sense of humor! But it did the trick and had me giggling while walking into the building.
So finally after filling out and signing my life away and them taking copies of my identification I was led into a very small dressing room and told to disrobe from the waist up.
The nurse came back for me and in to the room with this big scary looking machine with arms and other accoutrements attached.
Let me tell you….I’ve never had anyone but my husband (and boyfriends in the past) feel up my breast like this nurse had to do! I mean we might as well have had a go at it right there on the floor or get a room!
So while she pulled and prodded and twisted and smooth my left breast, arm and stomach into place (thank God I shaved this morning and I’m not ticklish (at least not then!), I did my best to be patient and not totally freak out!
Then I was instructed to take a deep breath and not move while this big “ole” machine squished the life out of my breast! Oh my God….the pain….make it stop….nooooooooooo!
Then it was over….now for the side view….oh no….I’m gonna lose it….
I get prodded and twisted and plastered on the machine again which then squished my breast to smithereens and oh the agony!!!!!!!!!!
Now for the right side………oh Lord!
Then the same thing was done to my right breast!
I had to sit and wait for her to see if all the tissues were showing in the scan that was done before I could go get dressed.
Thank God that was over.
When I returned to the car my husband asked if I was thirsty..I said no and asked him why….yes another warped joke…..this time I won’t repeat it but he had me laughing so hard while trying to forget that my poor “babies” were so “manhandled”!
All jokes aside though is there not a better way of having a view of the tissues of your breast without having your breast splattered and you in pain? If a guy had to have this done to his penis I bet you there would be a better invention immediately! Geech….it will take another couple of hours before I recover from this one!