GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED

Published on October 31, 2005 By foreverserenity In Humor

From an Email I received, too funny not to share!

[begin re-print]

This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole thing. There is a
serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there.

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A pl! astic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!

My skin was stretched ! a nd mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I sur e! ly have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick their balls in there,
And see how they come out!!

now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer
Awareness... Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the
message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends,
--- and even your enemies. Because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!!

[End of reprint]

This also brought back memories of my own recent mammogram which I shared in a blog......Link

Comments

jennybean

on Oct 31, 2005

!! Well I am not of age to need a mammogram yet, but boy did that scare the heck out of me for the future! Very funny, but man that sounds painful. Ouch!

foreverserenity

on Oct 31, 2005

!! Well I am not of age to need a mammogram yet, but boy did that scare the heck out of me for the future! Very funny, but man that sounds painful. Ouch!

Don't be scared......but it is painful! Just make sure when it's time you do get it done and just be prepared for a not so pleasant experience!

foreverserenity

on Oct 31, 2005

LoL, very cute and funny!

I thought so too!

Texas Wahine

on Oct 31, 2005

Nice. Hehe.

Right now my boobies are so tender and just reading this made them hurt. Yeouch.

foreverserenity

on Oct 31, 2005

Right now my boobies are so tender and just reading this made them hurt. Yeouch.

Yeowy!

[btw tex did you get my email? I'm headed to mine now to see.]

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