Here's a very amusing Email I received today. It made me laugh, ROFL! If you haven't read it yet, you'll get a kick out of it...if you have already, it always cracks the funny bones!
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for
lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda,
Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric, and Tom
go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will
each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will
actually admit they want change back. When the girls
get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will
pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from
the Marriott. The average number of items in the
typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be
able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a
man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when
women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband. A man never worries about the future until he
gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a
book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for
weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances,
best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes
and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no
use in two people remembering the same thing.
AND FINALLY.....
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack
asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."